


i love you

by pastmidnightwrites



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 3x15, Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Toni Topaz, Don’t like it don’t read it, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Idk what I’m doing, Im trying my best, Lesbian Cheryl Blossom, Toni Centric, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, Trauma, cheryl is very soft, clingy toni topaz, oneshots, toni gets a backstory, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-11-27 10:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastmidnightwrites/pseuds/pastmidnightwrites
Summary: toni oneshot fics that all incorporate choni!basically, the show runners treat toni like shit and there aren’t a lot of fics that focus on toni’s trauma or backstory or anything really, so that’s what this book is





	1. authors note

welcome to my oneshot book!

 

quick intro chapter before i post the actual first one just so i can say a few things:

 

1\. all of my tw’s are at the top of the chapter, in the notes or in the tags i put them in as many places as i can, please look out for them! if it’s available in the warnings i will put it in the warnings but not all triggers are

 

2\. this book is all stories about toni that incorporate choni. i think toni is treated unfairly by the writers of the show and fanfic writers so i’m doing her some justice

 

 

3\. my updates don’t have a schedule, i write and update when i can. i don’t find it rude if you ask me to update because it will probably inspire me to start writing, so if i haven’t updated in a few weeks please tell me to get working! 

 

4\. if you have any prompts i would love to hear them! comment them or tweet them at me my twitter is @dyketopaz 

 

that’s all, enjoy! 


	2. candy store

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// MENTIONS OF PAST ABUSE, PANIC ATTACKS
> 
>  
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>  
> 
> [in this fic cheryl doesn’t know toni’s backstory, & peaches isn’t there to catch toni]

maybe i’m just not enough for her 

is what toni topaz think as she absentmindedly trudges throughout the hallways of Riverdale High. 

 

not enough for her dead parents 

 

not enough for her abusive uncle

 

not enough for the serpents 

 

not enough for Cheryl 

 

not even good enough for the school

 

tears well in her eyes, it’s been a little more than a week since they broke up, and toni feels numb, dead almost, like she isn’t even here anymore. she’s been living in any place she can and using the money she gets from her job at the speakeasy for things like food and blankets. she’s been attempting to dress nicer than a homeless girl would to give off the affect that she was just fine. 

 

 

cheryl was now finding picking on the brunette and pushing her around was the most fun one could have, her small body being just perfect to shove into lockers, to ease her own pain. but then, more of cheryl’s friends started doing it as well. 

 

at this point toni was used to it, she walked down the halls expecting to be shoved any moment, so she never had to be caught off guard

 

she slowly trudges into the auditorium, feeling too broken to do a huge number right now. exhausted from not being able to find a half decent place to sleep last night, so she wandered the southside trying to not get jumped.

 

fuck it. she needs to show cheryl she’s doing just fine, the ex-serpent marches up onto the stage ready to perform her heart out. the tune of Candy Shop starts playing all throughout the auditorium.

 

she glances at cheryl and manages to catch a dirty look from her as she warms up and starts to stretch. cheryl had the opening verse.

 

they begin trying to out-dance each other, both singing until their lungs give out. something they would look back on and cringe. the redhead spinning and bending over in front of toni, toni spinning while cheryl catches a face full of pink hair.

 

toni began thinking of their dance off as playful and lighthearted she began smiling as she continued her routine but, cheryl only seemed to grow more angry at toni’s joyfulness. the tiny brunette suddenly caught a rough two-hand shove to the chest as she fell back and hit the ground.

 

hard. 

 

painful memories immediately started flooding into toni’s head as she let out a whimper, tears pooling in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. it suddenly felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out and she started desperately gasping for breath. memories of her uncle back on top of her, fists slamming into her flashing before her eyes. 

 

“stop. STOP THE MUSIC!” Archie yelled at Kevin, running up onto the stage

 

“TONI” cheryl screeched running over to her and scooping her into her lap as the brunette continued to hyperventilate 

 

“she’s having a panic attack, take her backstage” archie instructed to the other redhead

 

the vixen scooped toni up in her arms and carried her into her dressing room before sitting down on the couch with toni in her lap. her heart utterly broke for the sobbing girl next to her, knowing she had caused this 

 

“it’s okay TT, you’re safe. copy my breathing, ok baby?” cheryl cooed rubbing up and down toni’s back 

 

cheryl breathed at a slow pace. in and out. inhale and exhale. trying to get toni to follow.

 

toni let out a few shaky breaths, struggling to copy cheryl’s breathing

 

“fuck ok, what’s your favorite color baby?”

 

“p-purple” toni said shakily

 

“what do you like to get at pops?”

 

“chicken nuggets” 

 

“who’s your celebrity crush?” 

 

“y-you” toni exhaled slowly, finally catching her breath 

 

“are you okay babe?” the redhead asked lovingly 

 

“i will be” 

 

“do you want to talk about it” 

 

toni sighed, “it’s a little dark, cher”

 

“it’s okay tt, talk if you need too”

 

“my uncle is really abusive, like physically, he used to beat me sometimes without reason, simply ‘cause i was there. i was caught off guard with the push it just reminded me of-“ toni stopped as she choked up on her own tears as cheryl wiped them , along with her own. 

 

“i’m so sorry toni, i never should have touched you like that, it was so wrong of me i ju-“ 

 

“cher, hey calm down, it’s okay baby it’s in the past now. i know you would never hurt me on purpose” toni cut the redhead off 

 

“no toni, i acted just like him! how can you possibly forgive me toni? i’m a terrible girlfriend for what i just did and what i’ve been doing for the past week toni!” 

 

“cheryl, baby, you’re not him, ok? you’re not a terrible girlfriend you just haven’t been making good choices. it’s okay, i forgive you, i’m ready to move on, you’re the light in my life cheryl.” 

 

“i love you so much” 

 

“i love you too” toni whispered before leaning up to capture cheryl’s lips in a kiss, knowing everything would be alright between them.

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

toni’s backstory comes from my other fic, come out and play, so read that if you want toni’s full backstory from this chapter


	3. call my friends and tell them that i love them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheryl kicks toni out of Riverdale High, toni kind of gives up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS DARK & GRAPHIC if you are triggered by self harm, physical abuse, drug abuse, rape, homophobia, or suicide SKIP THIS CHAPTER! 
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>  
> 
> this is very sad and graphic in some parts so read at your own risk. enjoy

tw// rape, abuse, drug abuse, homophobia, suicide & self harm

 

 

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“you have until first bell to clear every trace of yourself out of these halls” 

 

those words were the breaking point for toni topaz 

 

tears welling in her eyes as the words were hissed at her through cherry red lips 

 

maybe the redhead was right, maybe she should just leave Riverdale High, maybe she should just leave riverdale altogether 

 

 

the thought swirls in her mind as she’s walking out the Riverdale High doorway, what’s left for her in Riverdale anyways, her parents are gone, her uncle kicked her out, cheryl broke up with her and kicked her out, and now cheryl’s kicking her out of school too. there’s no one that would truly miss her, no one would be hurt by it, so what could truly be bad about it? would it be better? she’s been feeling numb, broken, dead since her and cheryl broke up, for a while now, she doesn’t have a home, she doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore, she doesn’t have parents, family, friends what’s the point of her being in riverdale? all she’s done is bother people, mess up their lives, constantly be a burden. a burden to her uncle, to cheryl, to her “friends”, to the serpents, to everyone. no one wants her. maybe it would be better if she weren’t in riverdale, maybe it would be better if she weren’t on this earth. better for everyone. 

 

i mean what’s she gonna do?

 

stay so she can fulfill the life of a southside drug addict? 

 

stay so she can be eye candy to the creepy old men outside the speakeasy?

 

 

stay so her uncle can use her as a punching bag and kick her out when he’s done? 

 

 

stay so cheryl has emotional support and kick her out when she doesn’t want to be supportive back? 

 

 

stay so her stupid fucking girl gang has a leader? 

 

 

Riverdale has nothing left to offer Toni Topaz. 

 

 

 

 

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toni’s idea of “getting rid of every trace of herself” was grabbing the bag she had been living out of for the past two weeks out of her locker and leaving. 

 

 

she makes one final stop, the speakeasy. she’s seen veronica enter the code to the safe so many times she knows it by heart, the brunette sneaks in and looks around making sure reggie isn’t keeping guard and there are loose poisons around. she creeps up to the safe and enters the four digit passcode, it cracks open and she fills a smaller bag with as much cash as she can, hoping it will last her for as long as she needs.

 

 

she gets on her motorcycle at 11:47 at night, heart heavy and ready to leave, her one duffle bag possessing everything she owns strapped to the back. 

 

 

she speeds down the roads of Riverdale one last time, thinking off all the times she had raced down the same road, with cheryl clinging on behind her. tears of joy spring in her eyes as she reads the “You are now exiting Riverdale” sign. it feels as if a heavy weight has been lifted off her back, as if the chains tying her to her past have been cut. like she’s finally free.

 

 

toni briefly stops in New York City. not wanting to blow her money on some overpriced New York hotel. she thinks back to when her and cheryl were there just a short six months ago. they had made many memories in this city, it being the place they had sex for the first time, the place they had wandered for hours taking in the city in its entirety. the place they had stayed wrapped up naked in white sheets in one of the overpriced hotels toni couldn’t afford. it was the place cheryl had told toni about her fateful night with Nick St. Claire and toni had told a story of her own. 

 

she shudders thinking back on that conversation, she remembers cheryl’s tears when the ex-serpent had told her about the times her uncle had forcefully held her down and raped her, about all the times she was groped while bartending, about the time she was kidnapped by ghoulies when she was fifteen, she had been spying on them, clicking pictures of their drug lab on her camera when she was caught, grabbed and tied up for a few days before the ghoulies watching her got bored and decided to have his way with her before the serpents came to rescue her, and about the time she was grabbed while wandering the streets of the southside, how if she hadn’t been carrying her switchblade and hadn’t been so quick on her feet she probably wouldn’t be there with cheryl in that moment. she remembers how she had held cheryl until her tears subsided. 

 

 

oh, had cheryl had changed from then. toni could basically compare cheryl to her uncle’s abuse by now. 

 

 

toni thought about the abuse she’s dealt with in her short life. too much for someone so young. 

 

 

 

New York only reminds her of cheryl. toni leaves the next day. 

 

 

 

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some of the places toni had drove by or stopped in for the night started to remind her of her coming out experience, if you could even call it that. dark, gloomy, no happiness, no love. 

 

 

one dark alleyway is all it takes for her to snap back to the night she kissed a girl for the first time in the shadows behind Southside Middle when she was thirteen. she remembers how a video had surfaced the next day of that same kiss, but toni was the only one visible in the video shot on a shitty iPod. she remembers how people were mercilessly throwing slurs at her or giving her an occasional punch to the face just because they now had leverage on her. 

 

 

it got back to her uncle, possibly through the whyte whyrm, she’s still not sure. she remembers sitting in the living room doing homework when her uncle bursted through the door and immediately started throwing punches at her and screaming at her. she recalls hearing him yell about how she’s disgusting, unnatural, wrong. as he held her down and raped her for the first time, yelling about how he was going to `fuck the gay out of her’ as she screamed and cried out in pain. 

 

 

he threw her out when he was done and locked the door. she wandered around the southside that night wondering why she wasn’t good enough as she walked through alleyways and made her way down by sweetwater river, to sleep near the trees and nurse her injuries. 

 

 

 

 

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a month later toni stops at a gas station so she can take oxycontin in a bathroom stall.

 

 

she’s taken drugs before, she was in a gang and went to southside high for a year and a half, obviously she has. 

 

she’s tried to overdose thee times. her first time when she was fourteen, right after her uncle had finished beating and raping her, another being when she was fifteen and her mental health was declining rapidly from the constant abuse, rape, not having a home, it all got to her she tried to overdose a little ways away from the whyte wyrm. the last being on this trip. a few days before when she was in some shitty motel for the night. she knows it’s a bad choice, that’s been told to her by so many people. she just doesn’t care anymore. she knows she’s spiraling, she’s always been good at knowing when she is, always been able to stop herself, but this time, she doesn’t stop herself. it’s not like anyone would care if something were to happen to her anyways. 

 

 

she’s disappointed in herself falling down the same path of addiction as her family. addiction ran in her family, she remembered running home from Southside middle when she was eleven, finding her mother’s body in the living room of their cramped trailer, a needle still jabbed in her arm, her face having a slight blue color and her eyes still open. toni tears up at the thought of her parents, she remembers how happy they were, all until toni’s father died in a motorcycle accident. young toni topaz thinking it was because of another careless driver, her finding out just a few years ago it was because he was high out of his mind and decided to go for a drive and ended up slamming into a lamppost. she remembers how her mother had spiraled, young toni topaz tried her best to keep her mother happy, but once again, she just wasn’t enough. 

 

 

toni remembers when cheryl caught her on drugs. she has walked back into thistlehouse high as a kite not thinking properly. after taking a large amount of valium behind a quick-e-mart. she can still feel the sting of the hard slap across the face she had received as cheryl yelled at her, then held her hair back as she puked her guts up. 

 

 

 

 

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toni thought this trip would help her. but, it seems everything she looks at reminds her of her past, cheryl, her uncle, her parents, the serpents, everything. it’s like she just can’t forget and move on, like it’s stuck with her forever. 

 

 

she’s been driving for two months now, not ever thinking to turn back. no one has called her or even shot her a text just to check in on her. 

 

 

she begins to feel more and more hopeless. she begins taking drugs almost everyday. she also does something she promised cheryl she would stop after she had scolded her for it, she turns back to cutting. at this point she can’t count the number of scars marking her wrists and the outsides of her thighs. she remembers cutting for the first time when she was thirteen and how it made her feel like she had control, it grounded her. she was careful about it when she was younger, not cutting deep enough to leave visible scars, making sure to wear long sleeves on the days she needed to. toni just can’t bring herself to care anymore, she had started cutting deeper and more often. usually getting lightheaded from the amount of blood she was losing. she remembers waking up this morning in a pool of her own blood in a dirty motel room after cutting way too deep the night before. 

 

 

she remembers how she would keep razors in the smallest pocket of her backpack and some in the front pocket of her duffel bag. now she hopes she can find one when she digs to the bottom of the bag she lives out of. she remembers when the scars and bleeding lines on her wrists used to be thin, neat lines across her wrists, now they’re big gashes on whichever part of her tiny body is available. 

 

 

she doesn’t care anymore if this trip is just making everything worse, being on her own, sleeping in shitty motels, shoving pills down her throat and dragging blades across her skin and watching the blood flow were better than being in riverdale in toni’s mind. 

 

 

 

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she left riverdale almost three months ago. three months ago cheryl ran her out of riverdale. she’s been by herself for three months.

 

 

three whole months. toni hasn’t received one text or call from anyone back in riverdale asking where she is or where went or when she would be back. not one. 

 

 

she’s feels hopeless, even more numb than she was before she left. she doesn’t know what to turn to anymore. she’s tried to leave riverdale behind to forget her past but it only seems to follow her everywhere she goes. she can’t continue to have it haunt her. maybe she just shouldn’t be on this earth. 

 

 

she begins not caring anymore, her hair has lost most of the pink, it’s knotted and greasy, she probably smells like weed although, she can’t tell. she’s been driving all night, probably has huge bags under her eyes, she’s been wearing the same clothes for a few days. she can’t bring herself to care, she’s given up. 

 

 

 

she contemplates suicide often, almost everyday. it’s something that’s always been in the back of her mind, whispering in her ear to just do it. she wonders if anyone would miss her. she can’t think of one person who would.

 

 

the brunette has no clue what town she’s in or how long she’s been in it, she guesses around centerville or greendale a this point, but honestly she doesn’t care enough to check. 

 

 

 

at this she’s decided there’s nothing left the world has to offer her. she has no family, no friends, no one to turn to, she’s running out of money and hope. just herself and the haunting memories that never seem to leave her head. she’s tried everything to forget, all the drugs she can her hands on, every distraction, even getting blackout drunk just so she can go to bed easier. the memories are always spinning in her head, not giving her peace.

 

 

she’s so sick of it, she doesn’t want to be here anymore she’s not sure what she can do. so, she parks her bike on a riverbank, she’s not sure which river she’s at, for all she knows it could be Sweetwater river. she walks up the large metal bridge that suspends over the river and hops up on the side.

 

 

she sits on the side of the large bridge thinking about how all the abuse and trauma she had endured will all be swept away in a few minutes. she looks down at the winding rapids below her, it’s almost like it’s calling out for her, waiting for her to jump in and be absorbed in the icy waves. she had a blade with her, held to her wrist incase the impact doesn’t kill her. 

 

 

she waits until she’s done thinking about all the trauma she’s endured one last time and decided she’s ready to end her life. she holds the razor blade in one hand, digs it into her skin and drags it along her forearm starting at her wrist and stopping a little before her elbow, taking a couple seconds to watch the blood drip and fall into the waves below her, she starts to feel lightheaded so she quickly repeats the process on the other arm. she’s extremely lightheaded and ready to jump, she stands on the edge of the bridge and takes one more look over the horizon before throwing her own small body into the rushing river. 

 

 

she feels her body hit the icy water and get swept up in the current, she takes one last deep breath in, filling her lungs with water as red clouds float around her as her lifeless body sinks to the bottom of the cold river. 

 

 

 

that was the end of toni topaz’s life. no one ever came looking for her nor did she ever cross their minds, except for cheryl when she would occasionally find one of her old sweatshirts laying around, which cheryl immediately threw away trying not let her mind dwell on the hatred she had for toni topaz. toni lived a horrid life, the world was cruel to her, everyone was. but she didn’t have to worry anymore, no more worrying about dead parents, no more worrying about abusive uncles, no more worrying about gangs and drugs deals, no more worrying about ex girlfriends, no more worrying. toni topaz was dead.

 

 

 

 

 

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	4. clingy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the previous chapter was very dark and graphic and i know it was too much for some people, so if you felt that way i wanted to apologize. so this chapter has no triggers and is the softest thing i’ve ever written 
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> i love feedback, tell me if you guys like fluffy shit like this, or the heavier topics. i also take requests & my twitter is @chonisdyke
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> enjoy!

going into it, touch-starved cheryl blossom always thought she would be the more clingy one in a relationship. closeted for sixteen years and repressed by her mother, cheryl was usually in need of some sort of physical contact from toni. come to find out, growing up on the southside with no parents doesn’t guarantee a lot of comfort or physical contact either.

 

 

 

as their relationship progressed cheryl started realizing how clingy toni was, clingier than her, even. it started slowly in the first few months of their relationship, toni simply holding her hand whenever she got the chance, absentmindedly playing with cheryl’s fingers anywhere she could, in class, at their usual table at La bonne nuit, even when cheryl was doing homework in thistlehouse, toni would be holding her free hand. the first time, before they were even dating, cheryl remembers when the brunette grabbed her hand as they were sitting in pops after watching Love, Simon. from then on toni grabs onto cheryl’s hand whenever and wherever she can. 

 

 

 

cheryl also picked up on the fact that toni preferred sitting on cheryl’s lap over any chair in the world. even if every chair in the student lounge was available toni would still walk over to where cheryl was and snuggle into her lap. sometimes when toni had a rough night sleep or was just too tired or worn out from the school day and her girlfriends lap was just so comfortable, sitting wrapped up in her with her head in the crook of the redhead’s neck and arms around her, toni would fall fast asleep in cheryl’s arms. cheryl never minded, in fact, she found it adoring when toni would start to doze while wrapped in her embrace. 

 

sometimes when toni was feeling extra clingy or aggravated from catching too many people looking at her girl. the brunette would walk over to where cheryl was sitting, straddle her lap and wrap her arms as tightly around cheryl as she could, as she pressed kisses to her face, not caring who was watching, letting everyone know cheryl was hers.

 

 

 

 

 

cheryl realized that toni was the exact definition of clingy when they had shared a bed for the first time without any falling grandmothers, or failed conversion subjects. toni had immediately managed to wrap every part or herself around cheryl as tightly as she could. cheryl had chuckled at toni’s cuteness and wrapped her arms around toni’s waist before pressing a kiss to the top of her head and falling asleep. now living with toni, the vixen had picked up on some of toni’s favorite cuddling positions, her all-time favorite being when she lies directly on top of cheryl with her arms wrapped around her neck and cheryl’s wrapped around her waist. a close second being when cheryl rolls on her side with toni’s front pressed up against her own and toni’s head tucked into her neck, and their legs tangled together. and of course, a basic choice but, toni loves being the little spoon. 

 

 

the redhead obviously adores it when toni is wrapped so tightly around her she can barely move but, when it’s the early hours of the morning and cheryl’s bladder feels like it’s about to explode or she has to meet with betty or veronica for something she didn’t agree to, toni’s death grip only seems to tighten. sometimes she’ll just skip out on meeting with betty or veronica just so she can spend the morning with toni. the redhead loves spending her mornings with toni, Sunday mornings, to be exact. the redhead loved waking up and seeing toni sleeping on her chest with her arms draped around her neck and their legs tangled together. the sunlight peeking through the blinds illuminating all of toni’s features. it could come across as creepy, but watching toni sleep was one of cheryl’s favorite sites. 

 

 

just like her, toni has trauma of her own and has occasional nightmares, she knows when toni wakes up gasping for air through tears, she just wraps her arms around her tiny body and rubs a hand up and down her back while whispering how it’s not real and she’s there for her into toni’s ear until she falls back asleep. 

 

 

 

cheryl can always tell when toni is  
in need of her touch or when she simply just wants attention. like when toni keeps grabbing for her hand or shuffling closer to cheryl, the redhead knows she just need some sort of contact.  
most days, toni just want attention from cheryl. sometimes when cheryl is studying for a test and toni wants attention from her, she walks over to where her girlfriend is studying and just drapes herself over her lap waiting for attention. the vixen eventually gets her to move but toni will shift to sit behind her with her arms around her while pestering her for the rest of the time she studies, until cheryl finally gives in and pays attention to her. 

 

 

even when they’re just standing somewhere, toni drapes her arms around cheryl’s waist and rests her head on her shoulder, just so they can be touching. when they’re at thistlehouse cheryl’s laptop is occupying her lap, toni will still curl into her side and grab cheryl’s free arm so it’s around her while she watches cheryl type away on her laptop. 

 

 

 

 

so yeah, maybe toni is the more clingy one, cheryl thinks to herself as she lies on the couch in the living room of thistlehouse. watching a movie with toni laying directly on top of her with her legs wrapped around the redhead’s waist and toni’s arms around her neck. they both have their clingy moments, they both need touch from each other. no matter who the more clingy is, (even though cheryl believes it’s toni) there’s never a moment they’re not touching, and they like it that way. it’s may surprise most people, the badass gang member being the more soft and cuddly one, but cheryl loves it, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

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	5. bad days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheryl knows what to do when toni’s having a shitty week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, first off hi sorry i haven’t updated since 2006 so hopefully the three of you that enjoy these oneshots weren’t suffering too much. i’m gonna try to write more (hopefully). also idk what to do with this book should i keep writing at all? do you guys actually enjoy these? should i just make them all separate when i decide to write? should i delete chapter 3? cuz it’s way darker than i meant to make it. idk leave me some comments 
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> this is mostly fluff, no dark shit, enjoy!
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> also i changed my twitter username so follow me there @dyketopaz
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> feedback is v appreciated <3

-

She’s noticed this had been going on for about a week now

 

 

cheryl had first realized toni wasn’t being her normal self last wednesday night; she had slowly started to pick up on it throughout the week but finally realized something was up when toni had fallen asleep after being bitchy all day with only one arm draped loosely around cheryl’s waist... quite the difference from the usual death grip toni had on her every other night. -  
toni hadn’t seemed herself this week, not as soft and cuddly as she usually was, easily annoyed at her classmates, and more angry. cheryl’s been meaning to talk to her- just to see what’s going on in toni’s head, but every time cheryl sees her they’re either at school, or toni’s too angry or asleep. 

 

 

 

cheryl knew this week would be stressful, they had midterms and way too many homework assignments due to count and on top of that, the vixens has been practicing all week for the upcoming football games and everyone was annoying toni. 

 

 

the redhead knew toni was having a rough week, she had bombed a test, had detention twice already and was sent to weatherbee’s office for mouthing off to a teacher. the smaller girl had spent the past three nights screaming about how irritating her classmates were, the redhead, obviously, completely understood but didn’t get the chance to have a further talk with toni because the small girl had already passed out from exhaustion. 

 

 

As the week progressed the redhead started noticing toni’s unhappiness more and more. she already knew there were kids in school that toni just could not stand. those few straight white boys she had to have in her presence for most of her classes. she knew toni hated the way they thought they were better than everyone, constantly harassing all the girls they thought were interested in them, always being shitty human beings and having no consequences for it. it bothered cheryl too, but she had never seen toni lash out at them as many times as she did that day. 

 

 

 

“i fucking hate him” toni exclaimed as she sat in Riverdale high’s student lounge, cross legged on the couch.

 

 

referring back to what had occurred in her history class, her last class of the day when all she wanted to do was go home. a certain straight white boy who toni absolutely despised had insisted on sitting directly behind her. he was the reason toni hated that class, and it was one of the few classes she had without cheryl, and the only she had where she didn’t know anyone else. he would sit there for the full hour and thirty minutes just being a sack of shit person saying every slur he could think of and never got in trouble for it. just toni’s luck, he was one of those untouchable students whose parents paid off all the teachers. 

 

 

that day toni was particularly pissed off and had snapped on him when he had loudly said the f slur and got no consequences for it. already being ticked off, toni had turned around and called him out for it, only to be told to “shut her dyke mouth” then to be told to stay after for talking by the teacher. 

 

 

toni somehow found herself retelling the story to betty and veronica. 

 

 

“toni i really don’t think he’s that bad” betty exclaimed. who was sitting across from toni on the other couch with veronica right next to her.

 

 

“yeah toni maybe he’s just struggling” veronica tried to back her up 

 

 

“are you guys fucking serious?” the former serpent growled, questioning why she was even talking to two straight girls about this. 

 

 

“i’m in a class with him toni, he’s really not that bad” the blonde tries

 

 

 

“yeah betty, that’s probably because he doesn’t call you a dyke or cough you name under his breathe or point to you every time an lgbt related topic is brought up to make it painfully obvious you’re the gay one in the room” the brunette shot back. 

 

she was always proud of her sexuality but when he singled her out like that, it made her feel like she was different from everyone and like she wasn’t a part of the group, which was something she had struggled with when she was in the coming out process. the shorter girl knew she would never be able to explain to these straight girls what that feeling was like. she remembers when she came out in the end of her freshman year, fresh out of the closet as a freshman at southside high probably wasn’t the smartest decision but she couldn’t keep lying to her friends anymore. toni recalls how the usual hugs and affection she got from her friends everyday abruptly stopped, how they refused to touch her, thinking she was some sort of predator. toni knows betty and veronica will never understand that feeling so as the tears well in her eyes she makes the decision to just get up and leave before the waterworks start. 

 

 

she abruptly got up and walked out of the student lounge, and jogged down the hallway determined to find her girlfriend. 

 

 

««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»»

 

 

cheryl stood in the vixen’s locker room in front of her own locker as she capped her signature cherry-red lipstick, she heard the door open and footsteps but before she had time to react a small body had slammed into her and thin arms were wrapped around her waist. 

 

“T.T, what is it baby...” cheryl cooed as she turned around to envelop toni in a hug.

 

toni continued to cry slowly into her neck, not trusting herself to speak without her voice cracking.

 

“they’re all so f-fucking annoying cher!” toni spoke shakily through tears “i can’t deal with them anymore!” 

 

“shh baby, just breathe-“ the vixen whispered softly into toni’s ear while holding the smaller girl right against her own body and running fingers through pink hair. “i know they’re difficult baby but, we just have to get through it babe.” 

 

 

“i-i just wanna go h-home cher!” toni sobbed into the redhead’s neck. it had been a stressful week and the tiny girl was finally at her breaking point. she just wanted to be home, curled up with her girlfriend with no homophobic boys, no big tests, no unnecessary amounts of homework, no annoying straight girls. just her and her girlfriend, cuddled up, drinking tea, watching cartoons, taking a relaxing bath, anything but being at school. 

 

“TT... we have vixen’s practice baby” the redhead began, not wanting to be unprepared for the football game but also not wanting to upset her already distraught girlfriend. 

 

 

“p-please cher! i don’t want to go! please can we go h-home cher-“ the pink haired girl spoke, gasping through tears, gripping onto cheryl’s shirt “i can’t baby, please!”

 

 

the redhead looked at the sobbing girl tucked into her chest and decided she would have to be the world’s worst girlfriend if she decided to go to practice and go home with her distressed girlfriend, who was currently shaking and bawling into her shirt, on the verge of a panic attack. 

 

 

 

“alright baby, let’s go home...” 

 

 

 

««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»»

 

 

within an hour cheryl and toni had bathed, eaten and were now snuggled up under the red silk covers of cheryl’s expensive bed. toni was lying directly on top of cheryl with her head pushed in the crook of the redhead’s neck while cheryl rubbed up and down her back with one hand and carded her fingers through toni’s cotton candy-like hair with the other. cheryl had yet to ask toni what was going on and that was her next mission. 

 

“TT...“ the redhead began

 

 

“mhm..” 

 

“what’s going on with you baby, you’ve haven’t been yourself lately...”

 

 

“i-“ toni began as she hiccuped “i’ve just been s-so stressed cher” 

 

 

“come on toni, tell me what’s going on in there” the redhead speaks softly, tapping toni’s head

 

 

“it’s so frustrating! they’re all frustrating! why don’t they realize what they’re saying is wrong!?”

 

“who is baby?” 

 

“all of them!” 

 

“c’mon baby elaborate for me” the redhead nudged her along.

 

“i’m so stressed cheryl, those boys in my fucking history class just suck. you know what they say! then i go talk to Betty and Veronica about it and they’re too fucking hollow to recognize that those boys aren’t good people! every single day they just sit behind me and call me a dyke, make jokes about me, anything they can do and i hate it cher! i hate it so much!” toni sobbed into cheryl’s chest “and then on top of that we had tests this week and i fucking bombed one, i got detention because i ‘disrespected’ a teacher and we had vixens practice everyday this week and honestly cher, i just wanted to go home and snuggle with you! i’m so sick of this! cheryl, i’m exhausted! toni explained as cheryl struggled to make out what the tiny girl was saying through her tears. 

 

 

 

“i’m so sorry TT, i’ll make sure those boys get what’s coming to them.” the vixen explained “how about we nap for a little we can do something fun, yeah?” 

 

 

“ye-“ toni cut herself off with a yawn “-yeah” 

 

 

the smaller girl stuffed her head back into cheryl’s neck as she dozed off, cheryl following soon after. 

 

 

 

 

 

««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»» ««»»««»»««»»

 

 

after napping for two and a half hours toni was know lying face down on the couch in the living room of thistlehouse while cheryl massaged her back and The Simpson’s played on the tv. 

 

 

“i don’t understand how you do it cher” toni spoke softly 

 

 

“do what?” 

 

 

“always make me feel better, even if i’m having the shittiest day, you somehow always make it better.” 

 

 

“a special talent i guess” cheryl responder 

 

 

“i love you” 

 

“i love you too TT” cheryl kisses the back of toni’s head before adjusting them so toni was snuggled into her side. as cheryl leaned down and kissed her softly. 

 

 

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leave some kudos or feedback and in return i’ll love u forever


	6. selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> toni is sick of cheryl being selfish
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> TW// mentions of abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i’m back i was on a trip but i’m back and back to writing and i have a bunch of new prompts so hopefully i should be getting more chapters up soon. 
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> also feedback is very appreciated and kinda motivates me to write more, so tell me what you guys like in my stories, give me prompts, anything! 
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> my twitter is @dyketopaz if you want to follow me or chat with me, my dms are always open! 
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> enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“toni!” cheryl calls out as she walks up the stairs of Thistlehouse, after having just gotten back from school.

 

 

 

searching for her girlfriend, the vixen walked into their shared bedroom, to find toni sitting under the covers of their king size bed, sniffling with red, puffy eyes, like she had just been crying.

 

 

 

“TT, is everything alright?” the redhead spoke softly as she walked over and sat upon their bed

 

 

 

  
the small brunette sat up from under the covers and sniffled “fine”

 

 

 

  
“alright, then you are not going to believe what happen to ginger during vixens practice today...” the redhead started to drivel on

 

 

 

  
as cheryl went on toni’s mind slowly started to drift away from the conversation and she started to wonder why cheryl never really made sure she was okay. did her girlfriend even care? god, she was so sick of this. to toni, it didn’t really seem like she cared at all. they had been dating for over six months now and toni is just now realizing, cheryl doesn’t know anything about her. other than she is (or was) serpent legacy and she used to live with her uncle. it’s not that toni wasn’t ready to tell her more about herself, (she had been for a while now), it was that cheryl had never asked or showed any concern for where toni went at night before she lived with cheryl or where her parents were or anything, really.

 

 

 

 

“toni? hello, toni?-“

 

 

“yeah?”

 

 

 

“were you even listening to what i was saying?” the redhead nagged

 

 

 

  
the ex-serpent stayed quiet

 

 

 

  
“god toni, what is up with you today? you’ve been acting bitchy all day and i’m sick of it!”

 

 

 

 

“oh you’re sick of it?! cheryl you’ve been talking about yourself for about forty minutes now, right after you walked in here, saw me crying and didn’t even bother to make sure i was okay beyond accepting my ‘fine’!” the other vixen spoke as more tears welled in her eyes

 

 

 

“what else do you want me to do, toni? it’s not my fault if you’re sitting in here moping around all day. i have better things to do!”

 

 

 

“cheryl that’s not you having ‘better things to do’ that’s just you being selfish!” toni projected as she slid of their bed and began pacing the room.

 

 

 

“are you kidding me toni? selfish? that’s really what you think of me?” cheryl said angrily

 

 

 

 

“yes, cheryl! selfish! you’re selfish! when was the last time you asked if i was okay? when was the last time you comforted me? or asked about my parents, or why i live with my uncle or how i joined the serpents or even the little thing cher! like if i want some of your food or if i need a hug or if i don’t want to be dragged into doing something!” the girl said as she stopped pacing the room and leaned with her back against the vanity next to their bed.

 

 

 

 

“yeah toni because it was so selfish of me letting you live in my own fucking house!” cheryl yelled.

 

 

 

tears streamed down toni’s face as she started processing what had just been said to her.

 

 

 

cheryl made a quick movement to stand up off their bed, causing toni’s arms to shoot up quickly, blocking her head and flinches backwards, roughly hitting the vanity behind her.

 

 

 

the smaller girl whimpers and sinks to the floor as she cowers in fear, curling into herself as she sobs openly. her stomach cramping from how hard she was crying as memories flashed through her mind.

 

 

 

“No! cher please! i’m s-sorry! i’m sorry! please-“

 

 

 

  
cheryl’s heart breaks at the sight. did toni really think she was going to hit her? she immediately rushes to her side “TT, baby calm down. i’m not gonna hurt you honey”

 

 

 

toni crawled quickly across the floor away from cheryl, curled up near the end of the bed, still sobbing “i’m s-sorry cher! please don’t!”

 

 

 

cheryl goes over, trying to comfort toni the best she can. toni’s sobs only get louder as cheryl tries her hardest to calm her down but, to no avail. “tt, baby i’m not gonna hurt you okay?”

 

 

 

 

toni continued to sob, hiding her face from cheryl. “tt, can i touch you sweet heart?”

 

 

 

  
toni hesitates then nods as cheryl reaches a hand out to rub toni’s back.

 

 

 

  
toni curls into her touch, turning around so she can cuddle into cheryl’s side; her sobs turning into slow crying and short, gaspy breaths. she’s shaking so violently, it’s making cheryl nervous.

 

 

 

 

“just breathe for me honey” cheryl  
whispers softly while holding toni.  
“that’s it, good girl”

 

 

 

toni’s crying eventually subsides and finds herself straddling cheryl with her head tucked into her neck. still sitting on the hard wood floor, up against the the foot of their bed cheryl plants her feet on the ground and grip the backs of toni’s thighs while lifting herself and toni off the floor. toni finds herself airborne and buries her face farther into cheryl’s neck as she’s carried to their bed.

 

 

 

 

the smaller girl feels the squishy mattress beneath her as cheryl lies them down, tucking toni into her side as she drapes the long red sheets and blankets over them, cocooning her tiny girlfriend in her arms as toni wraps her arms around her waist and keeps her head on cheryl’s chest.

 

 

 

  
“how are you feeling baby?”

 

 

 

“horrible” toni sighs, finally able to stop her cries

 

 

“would you like to talk about it?”

 

 

  
“i don’t know”

 

 

 

“how about this, we take a nap and after you decide if your ready or not, ok babe?”

 

 

 

“i like that idea”

 

 

  
toni shifted before cuddling farther into cheryl as she drifted off.

 

 

 

cheryl watched as toni dozed off, she still couldn’t believe how flawless this girl looked when she slept. a small pout on face, pink hair being illuminated by the setting sun, tiny snores coming from her every now and then. even with eyes puffy and red from crying so hard, cheryl still thought she looked beautiful; she could barely wrap her mind around the fact this girl was hers.

 

 

  
what she really couldn’t believe though, was that the same girl, who was currently sleeping peacefully in her arms, thought she was going to strike her just a couple minutes before. she knew toni was right in that argument, but then immediately started saying she was wrong and apologizing as soon as she thought cheryl was going to put her hands on her. tears sprung to the redhead’s eyes. _god_ , toni was right, she is selfish. she had never even thought about why toni lived with her uncle, or how she joined the serpents. it hadn’t even crossed her mind where toni was going to go on those nights they were broken up. god, what kind of girlfriend was she? of course she wanted to know these things about toni now, but she hadn’t thought of it before. wanted to know, why did toni jump back like that? what caused it? had someone gotten physical with her before? the redhead wanted to know these thing but the last thing she wanted to do was pressure toni.

 

 

 

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

 

 

 

 

cheryl stirs awake after a few hours, realizing she had fallen asleep after her mind had wandered and spun for some time. she looked down at the sleeping beauty next to her, once again reminding herself of how lucky she was.

 

 

  
she watches as toni slowly starts to stir and turn and adorably mumble in her sleep. cheryl calmly brushes hair back behind toni’s ear and kisses her forehead.

 

  
a few minutes later toni awakens and sweetly kisses cheryl, feeling much better after her long nap. they sit there in a comfortable silence for a couple minutes, just enjoying being in each other’s embrace and company. a few minutes later toni speaks up.

 

  
“cher?”

 

  
“yeah?”

 

 

“i-i think i’m ready to talk, if your still up for listening” toni murmurs shyly

 

 

 

“anything you need tt, i’m here to listen”

 

 

  
“o-ok, well, i don’t know how to start this but-“ toni sighs “when you got up from the bed quickly it scared me and it just felt like i was back living in my uncle’s trailer again” toni says quietly

 

 

  
cheryl looks at her quizzically and continue holding her small girlfriend and rubbing up and down her back.

 

 

“i used to live with my uncle, as you know, i moved in with him when i was thirteen. he hated me, i never knew why and it always confused me when i was younger; i always just felt like i w-wasn’t good enough. when i would raise my voice or talk back to him, he-he would hit me. and it wasn’t just a little slap cher, sometimes it was full-on beatings; i would walk into school a day or two later, barely being able to walk, or breathe. sometimes he would crack ribs or sprain wrists. it was terrifying, cher.” toni whimpered out, trembling with tears in her eyes as she recalled all the times he hit her.

 

 

“i’m so sorry toni, _no_ _one_ deserves to go through that. no one. i swear if i ever get my hands on that man-“ cheryl breathes, enraged

 

 

 

“cher, as much as i appreciate you wanting to hurt my uncle, it’s not worth it.”

 

 

 

“i know toni, but how could he do that? what kind of person does that?”

 

 

 

  
“my uncle, apparently. and, it got worse as i got older. he hit me for the first time when i was fourteen years old. i received a full blown beating from him for the first time a few months later for mouthing off. the worst one i think i’ve ever gotten was when i was fifteen, it was towards the end of my freshman year and i was outed to the whole school. it traveled through the serpents and got back to my uncle through them and the Whyte Wyrm. that night he beat me so badly i couldn’t get out of bed, or even move for almost a week. i had broken ribs, a broken wrist, one of my eyes was swollen shut, i swear he almost choked me to death, i thought for sure either he was going to strangle me to death or i was going to choke on my own blood. that wasn’t the most recent either, it-it’s gotten to be more often recently. there were multiple times i went to school still bleeding or barely able to function, like my first day at Riverdale High or the day i tried out for the vixens, i had to put so much makeup over bruises so no one would notice. and after we watched Love, Simon i went home and he was back from the Whyte Wyrm and drunk, apparently i had left some dishes in the sink so his reaction was to beat me s-so badly i genuinely thought he was going to kill me.” toni spoke shakily, tears slowly starting as she trembled against cheryl.

 

 

 

  
“my god toni, that’s awful. i never want you going back to that wretched trailer as long as i’m alive, you understand?”

 

 

 

toni’s crying at this point tears openly flowing down her cheeks, “never cher, i’ll happily stay here with you forever.” she whispered as she cuddled into cheryl

 

 

  
“please hold me” the tiny pink haired girl whispered in the smallest voice cheryl had ever heard

 

 

  
“anything for you, my love” cheryl spoke softly as she held toni and kissed her forehead. lying there with her for as long as toni needed, cheryl would lie there forever with her if she asked her to. she would lie there until her whole body went numb and she died of starvation, all for toni’s comfort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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	7. the smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheryl is too busy being comforted by toni to realize toni’s going through hell
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> i got this idea from a lyric in the song ‘i love you’ the lyric is “the smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying” 
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> TW// physical abuse, rape, self harm 
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> enjoy!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave feedback please!
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> talk to me on twitter, i’m always down for a chat or a vent @dyketopaz

—————-

 

 

 

it’s been three weeks since toni rescued cheryl from conversion therapy. 

 

a month since cheryl came out to toni at pops

 

more than a month since cheryl started talking to toni. 

 

and the whole time toni had been nothing but comforting and supportive towards cheryl. god, she was so grateful for that girl. always so caring, from just shooting cheryl a text just to see how she’s doing, to holding cheryl tightly through as tears flow heavily, assuring her everything will be alright and she isn’t alone. cheryl ponders as the redhead lies awake in the crimson colored sheets of her king-sized bed. 

 

 

she lolls her head to the side glancing out her window, staring at the icy tundra happening outside. god, she would feel bad for anyone stuck in that, the snow seemed to be coming down by the foot out there. her mind starting wondering back to the pink haired serpent that was taking up most of her thoughts these days. she truly thinks she loves the girl, finally someone to make her feel like she was worth something, like someone cared about her. that small serpent was truly so selfless that it boggles cheryl. her girl ran straight into the sisters of quiet mercy, saving her from her abusers and ran straight out through nuns and muddy tunnels with her in tow. then bringing her back to sunnyside trailer park, (to fang’s trailer, she believes) where toni had wrapped her in her arms and let the vixen cry into her chest through the whole night, slowly mending the broken pieces back together; only holding her tighter through the nightmares, assuring her it wasn’t real and that she had really rescued her. from then on toni wouldn’t let toni out of her sight, too afraid of penelope blossom taking her away from her again. accompanying her every time she went to go visit nana rose in the hospital, doing thing like going to pops, or even just going for drives. it wasn’t like it had just started right as toni rescued her, toni had been one of, if not, the most caring people in cheryl’s life from the day cheryl had snapped at her in the bathroom. she had helped cheryl and comforted her all through the process of being emancipated and kicking her wretched mother out of thistlehouse. toni was one of the only people cheryl could remember who had even cared enough to genuinely asked her if she was okay, toni topaz was truly a blessing. cheryl pondered as she slowly drifted to sleep, content in her warm bed. 

 

 

%%%%%%%%%%%

 

 

“fuck!” a certain pink-haired serpent shouted as she pounded a fist weakly against her uncle’s trailer door, giving up and sliding down the door with tears in her eyes. 

 

 

she just wanted to get home and relax. and well, she did just that for a few hours before she realized she was stupid enough to just walk into her uncle’s trailer and expect her wishes to actually come true, just a couple minutes later she was met with a drunk uncle and large fists swinging towards her. within minutes she went from complete peace and serenity to broken bottles, loud shouting and hard punches. now here she is, sitting on the steps of the same trailer, bloody and bruised; just for once in her life wanting to be able to relax in her own home, or even just have a stable place to sleep without having to worry about locked doors or abusive uncles. 

 

 

her body finally notices the frigid weather that she was currently sitting in. snow coming down quick and it wasn’t looking good for one small serpent only dressed in tight ripped jeans, a shirt and serpent jacket that wasn’t providing much insulation. she wonders if it’s the cold temperatures that’s making her tremble or the beating she just received. toni gets up, with absolutely no place to go, deciding it isn’t worth just sitting there. it’s not like there’s a place she could just go and spend the night. she already owes fangs for when her and cheryl spent multiple nights at his trailer, she doesn’t know sweetpea well enough to just show up at his trailer, and there’s no way in hell she’s going to burden cheryl with all her problems right now, when she’s already recovering herself. 

 

 

 

with absolutely no place to go, she really only has two options, stay outside and fucking freeze to death, or go to pops and see how long she can stay there for before being kicked out. 

 

with the cold settling in, toni’s whole body is shaking, and she can’t feel the tips of her fingers, she decides the best idea at the moment would to just be to go to pops for a little while.

 

apon arriving at pops toni had been informed by pop that hiram lodge had rented out the whole place for the night for whatever mafia bullshit he was up to. so, with pops being unavailable toni officially had no place to go, not even one. at this point it was almost midnight, everything was closed or unavailable to her, so she sat herself down on a park bench under some trees near sweetwater river. lying down on the bench she stared up a the trees and sky above her wondering what it would be like to be in a warm bed right now. tears fill her eyes once more as she realizes she has no one, except for cheryl. she swears sometimes that girl is the only thing keeping her going. without cheryl toni doesn’t know where she would be. toni snaps out of her thoughts as a particularly violent shiver wracks her body, pain shooting throughout as her body shakes from the cold. she suddenly becomes completely aware of her senses as she feels warm crimson blood drip down her face. her body finally registering the amount of physical pain she was in, alongside the mental pain. the bruises on lining her torso, ribs, arms and face suddenly feeling like she was hit again, the cuts on her face feeling like someone had just poured rubbing alcohol into them. even the cuts she created herself running up and down both forearms burning. the tiny serpent lies there on the hard bench and just stares, not knowing where else  
to go or do. she wonders sleepily if she’ll die from the cold tonight, it’s not like she has any other choice or a place to go opposed to here, she guesses she’ll just roll the dice and see if she wakes up in the morning. sleep eventually overcomes her small body as she lies on a bench next to sweetwater river, no place to go. 

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

 

 

 

the next morning a certain redhead wakes up earlier than she usually does in a good mood, stretching as she smiles happily, having just risen from her soft bed covered with crimson sheets. smiling out at the white, snow covered ground and blue and cloudy sky out the window. applying her makeup and getting dressed for school before having fruit for breakfast. the vixen gets into her cherry red convertible and joyfully drives off to Riverdale High. 

 

 

 

on the other side of town, toni topaz finds herself surprised that she woke up this morning as she sits up from the cold bench pain shoots through every part of her bruise-covered body. shaking so violently from the cold only making the pain from her injuries worse, she slowly stands up from the bench, she walks off to school, blood stains blotching her shirt and bruises covering her face. not fully awake or knowing what else to do, she checks the time on her cracked iphone, 7:13, she’s almost an hour early for school. 

 

 

 

toni arrives at school and trudges off to the locker room to freshen up and put her vixens uniform on since she has practice first period. she turns on the hot water in the shower and races to get, feeling as though if she waited another second she would freeze to death. standing under the shower head enjoying the warmth of the shower. she looks down and watches as the blood washes off her body and circles down the shower drain, she stares at the blood gurgling down the drain blankly, she remembers a time when seeing her own blood wash off in the shower used to make her sob, now she’s too numb to even shed a tear over it. as much as she would like to breakdown and just cry she’s just too numb at this point. her eyes glance over the bruises marking her ribs and torso, god, they were worse than she thought, this being the first time she’s gotten a chance to fully look over them. purple, blue, green splotches stapling her ribs and arms. she finishes up and washes off before turning off the shower and wrapping up in a towel before stepping out. she gets her uniform on and begins doing her makeup, attempting to cover the marks her horrific uncle left behind. 

 

 

 

astonishingly, toni makes it through vixens practice without cheryl suspecting anything, she continues on with her day floating through class periods unable to focus, too busy brainstorming possible places she could sleep. so far she’s thought of staying at the whyte wyrm all night, which could work since her shift was tonight, she could possibly stay at school and find a janitors closet or something to camp out in or possibly just knock on trailer doors that belong to serpents. at this point she’s willing to try anything because she refuses to go back to that bench again. she thinks as she’s putting books in her locker when suddenly pale arms are wrapping around her waist and squeezing tighter than toni’s bruises are able to withstand, toni whimpers out in pain as cheryl gives her a questioning look.

 

 

“everything alright tt?” cheryl quips 

 

 

“yeah, you just surprised me there that’s all” toni lies blatantly 

 

 

“okay... well i was wondering if you would like to come over say, friday at 8?” 

 

 

“i’d be honored to cheryl” toni responds 

 

 

“perfect, see you friday babe” cheryl says before planting her lips on toni’s and strutting away.

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

 

 

the small brunette arrives at the whyte wyrm and begins serving drinks as she does every other monday, wednesday, thursday and saturday nights. by now she’s used to the drunk men constantly trying to flirt with her, she’s used to catching creepy old men staring at her chest or even teenage serpent boys trying to get her to go home with them. she never said yes to any of them, she’s smarter than that. tonight was something she hadn’t seen before. she had been there for an hour or two before a large man with dark hair, not wearing a serpent jacket approaches the bar. 

 

 

“hey baby, can i buy you a drink?” he asks slyly 

 

 

“um no i’m working, sorry” toni responds 

 

 

“c’mon just one, i won’t tell anyone” 

 

 

“no, i’m okay” 

 

 

“don’t be uptight, let me just buy you drink” the man persists 

 

 

 

“i said no, that’s final” toni says a bit angrily 

 

 

“why are you being difficult? i’m just trying to make a nice gesture” 

 

 

“i don’t want a drink, i’m sorry if i upset you but i don’t want one and i have a girlfriend anyways” toni says, trying to get him to leave her alone 

 

 

“whatever, bitch” he spits as he storms away angrily 

 

 

 

 

a few hours later the bar has started to quiet down so toni is slowly sipping on a coke waiting for someone to order something at the bar. standing there slowly scrolling through her twitter feed, she watches as tallboy suddenly approaches the bar. 

 

 

“my usual please” he says roughly 

 

 

“coming right up, tallboy” toni says putting her things aside to make his drink 

 

 

after making a few drinks and conversations with tall boy toni goes back to her twitter feed and continues drinking her coke. she watches solemnly as the bar slowly starts to empty. it’s almost midnight, which means her shift should be over in about an hour. she begins thinking of where she might sleep tonight, school was definitely locked so her window of opportunity to sleep there had already closed, she could maybe pull off sleeping at the wyrm since she had the closing shift. toni thoughts slowly started getting more and more cloudy as she began to feel dizzy. knowing what had happened, she knew someone had put something in her drink, probably while she was serving tallboy. her mind going through a tired panic as she realizes if she doesn’t get somewhere she’s going to pass out right behind this bar. the small serpent knows if she can just get to the back room she could lock the door behind her and pass out in there. she dizzily stumbles out from behind the bar, trudging over to the back room, reaching for the wooden door, her eyelids feeling as if they weighed ten pounds. she gasps as she feels a strong arm wrap around her midsection and a meaty hand clap over her mouth. drowsily trying her best to fight out of the tight grip the stranger had on her everything seems to be getting darker she feels herself be lifted as she finally falls into unconsciousness. 

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

 

 

toni wakes up the next morning feeling as if she was underwater. feeling a soft surface under her, and staring up at a  
white-ish ceiling, she’s shivering similar to how she was yesterday night sleeping on that park bench. she comes to her senses and immediately feels an excruciating pain between her legs; trying to not let her mind just to the worst scenario, she sits up a little to find that she was correct. she sits up to find herself naked on an unknown bed, her clothes scattered around her a light sheet carelessly draped over her naked body. tears springing to her eyes as everything that happened flooded her mind, wondering what would happen if cheryl was here. god, cheryl. she realizes the redhead is going to question her if she’s not at school today. she can’t tell her the truth, she doesn’t need the redhead dealing with all of her issues when she’s just starting to recover from all that she’s been through herself. her mind drifting back to reality, her mind registers that she’s staring down at small blood stains and it just reminds her of what just happened; panic spreading throughout her body, she feels like she’s gonna throw up. stumbling out of bed as heavy sobs erupt from her body, collapsing to the floor with gaspy cries, she’s sobbing so hard she thinks she’s going to vomit, her stomach lurching around violently with each sob. she was just trying to do her job and stay for a place to sleep and this- this terrible man who couldn’t handle rejection drugged her and brought her back to his hotel room, where he proceeded to take her virginity while she was unconscious. her whole body aching she puts her clothes on and hopes the man isn’t in the hotel room when she leaves. he isn’t and she walked out back to the whyte wyrm to get her bag before putting a sweatshirt and black jeans on. mustering through the pain, she got to school. 

 

 

 

barely making it through a day full of lying and trying to pay attention in classes was wearing toni down. lying straight to cheryl’s face was breaking her but cheryl having to deal with her problems would only break her more. she would way rather be lying to cheryl and see her being happy everyday with a smile on her face than be burdening cheryl with everything going on in her life. toni felt as if she was on autopilot walking through school, she felt numb. not wanting to be there anymore, she swears cheryl was the only thing still keeping her going. seeing cheryl smile helped toni through the day greatly. sitting with the vixen in the common room just watching her be her joyful and bubbly self.

 

 

“T.T?” cheryl asks as she’s sitting with the serpent in the common room 

 

 

“yeah?” 

 

 

“are you okay baby? you don’t seem yourself recently” 

 

 

“i’m okay cheryl-“ toni responds quickly “just a little tired, i guess” 

 

 

“good, we wouldn’t want anything happening to you” cheryl jokes lightly 

 

 

despite toni’s how broken hearted toni just got when she realized she’s eventually going to have to tell cheryl what’s going on, she gives her a warm smile. 

 

 

“are we still on for friday, babe?” toni says, changing the subject 

 

 

“of course, be ready for cheesy movies and cuddles” cheryl says excitedly 

 

 

toni laughs at her cuteness right as the bell rings, cheryl gives her a quick peck before they go their separate ways. 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

 

 

that night toni has no where to go once again. deciding being awake all night was better than being asleep and vulnerable to anyone that might walk by. so that’s why she’s sitting behind pops currently, staring into the dark wondering what she could possibly do to make her situation better. she’s been thinking for about an hour now and still hasn’t come up with any answers. at this point she feels completely numb, like nothing can even effect her at this point, which is why she’s twirling a razor blade between her fingers, debating on what she should do with it. she rolls up the sleeve of her sweatshirt and sees the large scar marking her wrist along with tiny ones scattered around her forearm. the serpent remembers how she got the large one, she recalls sitting on the floor of fang’s trailer bathroom at one in the morning. she was fifteen and she had ran from her uncle’s trailer after just being outed to him, resulting in one of the worst beatings she had ever received. she was so sick of it all and decided maybe it would be better to just not be here. so, she had made the cut and of course, a minute or two later fangs fucking fogarty came running in and wrapped her arm in a hand towel right as she was getting lightheaded. he held her tight and brought her to one of the older serpents to have them dodgily stitch up her arm. 

 

 

thinking about the whole experience used to bring tears to her eyes, now she wonders if she can even feel anything anymore. she’s done this before and this time she isn’t worried about people seeing or how it might affect her. she remembers doing it right before she was supposed to show jughead around southside high and the most recent was when cheryl had been at the sisters of quiet mercy and she was terrified she was never going to see the girl again which is why she brings the blade down to wrist once again. 

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><>

 

 

eight o’clock and toni got up from her spot behind pops, excruciating pain flowing through her whole body as she trudged off to school.

 

 

trying to make it through yet another day she finds herself once again not paying attention and slacking off. the bell rings and breaks toni out of her trance as the teacher calls her over abruptly. 

 

 

“toni, i wanted to talk to you about you grades” the serpent’s english teacher spoke quietly as the last remaining students left the room. 

 

 

“why? what’s wrong with them?” 

 

 

“toni, your grades are dropping dramatically and i’m worried about you” her teacher turned the computer and toni looked to see her GPA had dropped a lot. she had started the semester with a 4.3 and now she’s seeing a 1.8 staring back at her through the computer screen. 

 

 

“you’re also missing a bunch of assignments toni, in my and class and in your the others” the small serpents glances at the red marked next to several assignments in shock. she knew she had been slacking but she didn’t expect it to be this dramatic. 

 

 

“i must just not be preparing enough. i’m sorry and i will get the missing assignments in” toni says trying to end the conversation. 

 

 

“alright, make sure you get them in for your other classes too. i’m expecting to see improvement toni” her teacher says, letting her go” 

 

 

“you will. thank you” the pink haired girl says before exiting the room.

 

 

she storms down the hall, already late to her next class. frustrated tears pool in her eyes thinking about that interaction. she knew her grades were bad but she didn’t think that bad. she thought she had enough to deal with, abusive uncles, creepy men, and just trying to find a place to fucking sleep for god sakes. 

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

 

after wandering around the southside after school toni, still in a large amount of pain, waited for eight to roll around so she could walk off to cheryl’s house 

 

 

a little more than an hour later the two girls are curled on the couch under a blanket in thistlehouse’s living room with a crappy horror movie playing. the redhead had obviously followed through with her promise of cuddles and toni assumed her position as the little spoon. they’re about an hour into the movie when toni begins to doze off from utter exhaustion, she hears the dramatic music of the horror movie building but is to tired to pay any mind to it as she drifts off. all of a sudden a jump scare flashes onto the screen, startling cheryl, causing her to gasp and squeeze tightly around toni’s middle. the pink haired girl’s eyes immediately shoot open at the pain that just shot through her body as she unintentionally lets out a pained yelp as tears spring to her eyes from the excruciating pain of what felt like cheryl squeezing every bruise on her body and from realizing cheryl was going to notice something isn’t right. cheryl immediately sits up to check on toni. 

 

“tt? are you alright?” 

 

 

“yeah- yeah you just surprised me that’s all” the pink haired girl fibbed 

 

 

“toni seriously, stop with this ‘i’m fine’ shit. i can tell you’re not okay” the redhead insists “please tell me what’s going on” 

 

 

“cheryl it’s nothing! i promise you i was just startled when you grabbed me! that’s all!” 

 

 

“toni you don’t understand! i can see that your obviously not okay! toni i’m your girlfriend! i want to help you” 

 

 

toni’s tear filled eyes look up at cheryl as her chin trembles, knowing she’s going to have to tell cheryl what’s up. 

 

 

“i can’t cheryl, please! i love seeing you happy and smiling again i don’t want to have to stop seeing that because i burdened you with everything going on in my life!” the tiny serpent said with tears starting to roll down her face. 

 

 

“baby you are not a burden to me, okay? i’m your girlfriend i’m here for you when you need me” the redhead spoke softly “i deserve to know baby” she whispered 

 

 

toni let out a shaker breathe as she contemplated where to start. “i’m homeless” she started with simply.

 

 

“what?” 

 

 

“my uncle kicked me out for good this time, he beat me then kicked me out.” toni said blatantly. “that’s why it hurt when you squeezed me, ‘cause he beat me a few nights ago.” 

 

 

“toni- baby, where have you been staying?” 

 

 

“that’s where it gets a little dark. i don’t have anywhere to go. the first night i wandered for a little while the. eventually passed out on a park bench.” 

 

“tt- wait a park bench? toni, it’s below freezing outside!” the redhead scolded 

 

 

“i know, i almost froze to death. and then the- the second night i was going to try to stay at the whyte wyrm and-“ toni cut herself off with a whimper as the memories from that night flooded back into her mind. she was trembling violently as cheryl pulled her tiny body into her chest and held toni tightly as she began to cry again.

 

 

toni’s tears subsided after a few minutes as she attempted to continue on with her story, body still pressed up against cheryl’s with her head tucked into her chest. “i had sh-shift at the wyrm that night s-so i figured maybe i could just stay after and f-find somewhere to sleep-” toni continued, tears still flowing freely. “there was this guy w-who insisted on buying me a drink and i-i refused him. he got angry and walked a-away, a little while later i was drinking a coke and i p-put it down to get t-tallboy a drink and- and h-he-” toni couldn’t continue with her story as her face scrunched up and she let out a sob. wailing into cheryl’s chest, trying to mend the pieces of her broken heart. 

 

“oh my god toni, i’m so sorry that happened to you baby. i will do everything in my power to find that man, he’s going to get what’s coming to him TT.” 

 

 

toni nods solemnly before continuing with her story “i knew h-he did it, i tried to run to the backroom before he could get to me, b-but he grabbed me before i could g-get there” toni held back a sob “i w-woke up the next morning and i knew what had happened. everything hurt so much. there was blood cher. but i didn’t want you to worry if i wasn’t at school so i just left and went to school.” toni chokes out through tears “i’m s-sorry” she says, gaspy sobs wracking her body. 

 

 

“tt, no don’t you dare apologize, none of this is your fault alright baby?” the redhead spoke, kissing toni’s forehead lightly.

 

toni took a deep breathe before whispering softly “he took my virginity cher” bile stirring in the back of her throat at the memories that were swirling around in her mind. 

 

“toni, i’m so sorry baby, i swear to god if i get my hands on this man-“ cheryl says angrily, everything seeming to turn red with how angry she was at this man who had the audacity to even touch a hair on her tiny girlfriend’s head. 

 

 

“i-i didn’t sleep the next night. i just sat outside of pops until the morning and on top of all of that my grades apparently dropped because i’ve been too tired to do any work and now my gpa is a 1.8” toni said, finishing her story shakily. 

 

 

“i’m so, so sorry toni, i want you to stay here okay? no more wandering or trying to find places to sleep, stay here for as long as you need” the vixen offered cautiously.

 

 

“thank you cheryl, so much” toni said tears still streaming. 

 

“no problem baby, now can i see your injuries toni? i might have some thing i can put on your bruises.” 

 

“yeah” toni said before stripping off the hoodie she was wearing so cheryl could nurse her injuries. the redhead gasped as she stared down at dark purple bruises scattered on toni’s torso, her eyes jumped to a large bruise right on the side of her ribs, like someone had kicked her. 

 

 

cheryl sat back down with a first aid kit and pressed an ice pack to toni’s ribs. telling her to hold it there, toni lifted her arm to hold the ice pack in place when cheryl caught sight of the scars and cuts running up and down toni’s forearm. gasping she grabbed toni arm and turned it over, confirming what she saw to be true. she glanced up at toni who had tears running down her cheeks again. 

 

 

“toni...”

 

“i’m sorry cher.” 

 

 

“don’t be sorry babe” 

 

 

they both stayed silent for a few moments before cheryl spoke up

 

“when did this start honey?” 

 

 

“when i was fourteen, i was young and couldn’t handle the abuse from my uncle.” 

 

 

“these look fresh toni, when are these from?” cheryl asked cautiously 

 

 

“from yesterday night, once again i didn’t have anywhere to go so i was sitting outside behind pops, and shit cher, i just felt so fucking numb and i just wanted to feel the pain i was feeling on the inside.” toni spoke shakily 

 

cheryl looks down at toni’s wrist in her hand, one large scar running up her forearm and other smaller horizontal ones scattered around. she rubs her thumb up and down the larger one. “what’s this from?” 

 

 

toni’s breath catches in her throat as she gets ready to tell cheryl “that- that was from when i was fifteen. i was a sophomore and i had just been outed to the whole school and it got back to my uncle, resulting in one of the worst beatings i’ve ever gotten. i couldn’t handle it anymore and i guess i thought it would just be better to- to not be here anymore.. i guess.” toni speaks quietly, finally relieved she had told cheryl everything, all of anxiety about keeping her life a secret from cheryl finally melting away. 

 

 

cheryl gasped as tears welled in her eyes at toni’s confession. sadness overtaking her body even just at the thought of toni, her girlfriend, the love of her life, being at the point where she thought suicide was the only good option. at a loss for words, cheryl stared down at the tiny body next to her and pulled toni into her chest, kissing her forehead. she could feel hot tears dotting her chest and tiny whimpers escaping toni. she held back her own tears just as toni did every time their positions were switched and toni was the one doing the comforting. whispering sweet nothings into toni’s ears she held the girl tightly, but not tight enough to hurt her already sore bruises. 

 

 

after about a half an hour cheryl could feel toni’s steady breathes on her collar bones and figured the girl was exhausted and had already fallen asleep, slowly peeling the ice packs of her sides, she slipped toni’s sweatshirt back over her head and carried her upstairs to cheryl’s lavish bed. placing the small serpent on her bed cheryl slipped into a sweatshirt of her own and a soft pair of shorts. walking back over to the bed to tuck toni under the crimson covers before sliding in next to her. the brunette flailed a little and mumbled in her sleep, smiling to herself at toni’s cuteness cheryl wrapped her own arms around toni’s frail body and tucking her into her neck. the redhead looked down at the small girl sleeping next to her, who wrapped her arms around cheryl’s neck in her sleep and was snoring lightly into her neck. figuring they would talk more in the morning cheryl kissed the top of toni’s head drifted off to sleep, happy toni was comfortable enough to share that with cheryl. 

 

 

 

<><><><><><><><><><>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave feedback! it encourages me to write more! 
> 
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> 
> follow me on twitter or talk to me, my dms are always open @dyketopaz 
> 
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> 
> i take requests! if you have a toni-centric idea you would like me to write i can do it!


	8. movies and minecraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought i’d give you guys a break from all the angst so... here’s a short little fluffy chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos & feedback!
> 
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> 
> follow my twitter @dyketopaz
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> so tw’s here today, enjoy!

<^><^><^><^><^><^>

 

 

 

after a long, stressful test day testing day at Riverdale High cheryl and toni were finally home and exhausted.

 

 

after taking a shower, slipping into sweatshirts and sleep shorts the two curled up together under the crimson sheets on cheryl’s bed and took a long nap.

 

 

as usual, cheryl was the first to wake up. sitting up, she glanced down at the sleeping beauty next to her, a smile stretching across her face at how lucky she was to have this girl in her life. cheryl was glad she was the one getting to see toni when she woke up every morning, she thought it was a blessing to see her beautiful girlfriend in such a peaceful state.

 

 

slipping out of bed and wandering downstairs, cheryl decided to make them food. cooking up two grilled cheeses because she knew that was toni’s favorite and pulling out a bag of popcorn and popping it in the microwave. once it was done cheryl went to go put the food down in the living room for them to watch a movie before walking back upstairs to wake her tiny girlfriend, knowing if she didn’t toni would sleep until the morning. 

 

 

walking back into their lavish bedroom cheryl sees the pink haired girl’s small frame wrapped up in a heap of covers, small snores sounding through room. the vixen walks over and begins in unwrapping toni from the covers so her tiny girlfriend didn’t suffocate, climbing up on the bed and pressing small kisses to her nose and forehead, toni started to stir. as toni’s eyes begin to open cheryl pulls the last cover off of toni, exposing her to the cold room. the serpent’s eyes shot open as she tried to grab the covers back. 

 

 

“cheryl! give it back!” toni whined, flailing around while trying to grab back the covers. finally getting hold of one and wrapping herself completely in it 

 

“wake up, tt!” 

 

 

cheryl groaned playfully at toni’s antics and jabbed at toni’s side, getting an idea when toni jolted from being so ticklish. cheryl launches herself at toni, attacking her sides and tickling her mercilessly. toni screeched and squirmed around beneath cheryl.

 

 

“OK! OK! IM AWAKE CHERYL” toni screamed through loud laughs. 

 

 

“c’mon toni!” cheryl said playfully finally stopping the tickles, leaning down to rest her forehead on toni’s. “i made food for us” 

 

 

cheryl sat up as toni held her arms out for cheryl to help her to a sitting position, grabbing her forearms, cheryl tugged her up. 

 

 

“what kind?” 

 

 

“grilled cheeses and popcorn”

 

 

toni shot up from under the covers wiggling out from underneath cheryl and running downstairs hungrily. 

 

 

finally reaching the living room flopping down on the couch with cheryl trailing shortly behind her, grabbed one of the grilled cheeses and taking a massive bite. the redhead sat down beside her, taking her own sandwich.

 

 

“slow down baby, you’re gonna choke” the redhead warned 

 

 

“mhm- it’s good” toni says through a full mouth 

 

 

cheryl giggles before turning on the tv and shuffling through netflix. after selecting a cheesy romance movie for them to watch, she looked up to see toni had consumed her entire sandwich and was now onto the popcorn. 

 

 

“toni what the fuck” cheryl asked, boggled at how someone so small could eat so much so quickly. 

 

 

“what?” toni looked up, confused 

 

 

“how did you finish that so fast?” 

 

 

“i dunno, i was hungry” toni said with a shrug 

 

 

cheryl laughed at toni’s adorableness before getting up to grab them blankets and a few more snacks for toni, figuring she was hungry. the vixen walked back into their living room, dropping the heap of blankets on top of toni and setting down the snacks on the coffee table. cheryl looked over and giggled at the fact she couldn’t see her tiny girlfriend under all the blankets, she hit unpause on the tv and began their movie. 

 

 

peeling back the covers on toni she laid down next to her on the couch. a few minutes into the movie toni out the popcorn down to readjust herself so she was lying directly on top of cheryl with her face in the redhead’s chest. cheryl smiles as she rakes her fingers through pink locks and presses a kiss to toni’s head. 

 

 

about an hour into the movie toni gets bored of the cheesy hetero romance displaying itself across their tv screen, so she gets up to get her laptop and comes back down to the living room. lying herself next to cheryl and opening up minecraft.

 

 

cheryl watches as toni builds a small minecraft garden and moves pixel-y blocks around the screen. watching a block-like character maneuvers around a wooden house, placing blocks and plucking things from chests before wandering back outside and continuing with its gardening. after another hour and a cup of tea cheryl continues watching her movie and toni shuts her laptop and places it on the coffee table before going back to her original position on top of cheryl. 

 

 

tucking her head back into cheryl’s neck the brunette slowly drifts back into a deep sleep, only for cheryl to carry her back upstairs a few hours later after cheryl’s second movie had finished a little after midnight. tucking her back into bed and watching as the pink haired girl slept against her chest, small snores and the occasional mumble falling from her lips. after watching toni for a few minutes cheryl finally fell asleep curled up with her beautiful girlfriend right by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave feedback please! 
> 
>  
> 
> i take requests, if you have a toni-centric fic you want written i can probably do it! 
> 
>  
> 
> twitter: @dyketopaz


	9. too perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> requested by @zzze “i’ve always had this idea of toni trying to be perfect for cheryl, and she starts to lose weight. and when cheryl realized it, toni’s already just skin and bone”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// eating disorders?? 
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> i wasn’t really sure how to go about writing this, but i tried my best and don’t be surprised if some things aren’t the most accurate 
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> i made this chapter long as shit by accident, so yeah here’s 6000 words of sadness. 
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> my twitter is @dyketopaz, my dms are always open if you want to chat there. 
> 
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> 
> leave kudos & feedback please!

——

 

 

 

 

toni had always been insecure 

 

 

she’d been insecure her whole life, always about something. but most recently she’d been extremely insecure about her and cheryl’s relationship.

 

 

it’s to the point toni wishes she could turn back time to when her insecurities weren’t rushing in on her at any point of the day, constantly crushing her.

 

 

she thought she had insecurities before, boy, toni a year ago had nothing on present day toni. her insecurities were so severe that on some days when she was reminded of them, it made her want to curl into a ball right then and there and just cry. 

 

 

 

her insecurities had really started to overtake her when she moved in. she had obviously already known that cheryl had a more comfortable lifestyle than her. and after moving into the redhead’s mansion with no extra cost, made toni not only anxious, but her insecurities shot through the fucking roof. 

 

 

toni started worrying about it more and more, to an unhealthy point where all she could think about was how much better cheryl was than her. she knew cheryl was way more wealthy than she was, the redhead was so fucking beautiful, she could have any girl she wanted, why did she choose the lowlife gang member? 

 

 

not only was toni not financially confident, she was even less body confident. she had the most beautiful girlfriend on the planet with the most perfect body. toni always hated her appearance, always finding a way to find something negative about it. it completely boggled toni why out of all people, cheryl had chosen to date her. 

 

 

doing the best toni possible could, she decided she wanted to help her insecurities in the ways she could. the brunette had met with veronica at pops, who coincidentally presented her with a job offer. toni could almost feel her anxiety and insecurities lifting off her shoulders just a tiny bit. 

 

 

a week later when toni had given nana rose rent money cheryl had obviously found out and confronted toni on it. toni had immediately told her how she felt about living in cheryl’s home with no extra cost. the vixen had assured her it was no big deal and it was payment enough having her around all the time. toni would still discreetly slip money into cheryl’s purse as rent occasionally, cheryl would always know and slip it right back into toni’s bag without her knowing. 

 

 

but toni’s financial status wasn’t the only thing crushing her at the moment. it was the fact that she had the most beautiful girlfriend, with natural shining red hair that flower down her back, naturally plump lips, a sharp jawline, a perfectly sculpted body, curves, a toned stomach and muscular arms. toni practically drooled just thinking about how stunning her girlfriend was. 

 

it also confused toni, why would a girl so beautiful choose her? cheryl could easily date any girl in riverdale, so why would she want toni? the thought of cheryl leaving her at any moment haunted toni. she could easily do it, tell toni to get the fuck out of her house and go on to dating someone better than her. 

 

 

the thought alone terrified her. cheryl was the most important person in her life, toni wouldn’t know what to do if she lost her. she’s already lost so many people, both her parents, the serpents, the farm, even her homophobic uncle didn’t want her. toni was sure she would break if cheryl were to leave her for good. 

 

 

 

toni hated her body, she never felt confident and could only see the flaws. even just looking in a mirror brought her stress. she hated the way she had even the tiniest amount of cellulite on her lower stomach, or the fact she had stretch marks and she hated looking at the scars on her body that were left behind by her uncle. 

 

she’d never been proud of her body and dating cheryl only made it worse for her because she was constantly comparing herself to the girl. 

 

so, just like the brunette had decided to fix her financial insecurities, she tried to fix her insecurities on her appearance as well. 

 

it started off lightly, she would skip a meal a day, slowly easing into it. after about a week toni was getting frustrated with herself, she wasn’t seeing the difference she wanted. so she ate even less, to the point where it started to get more severe, she would only eat when she was with cheryl, so the redhead wouldn’t suspect anything. at that point she was only eating one meal or less a day, usually lunch with cheryl. 

 

 

 

so, here she was scraping and stirring around the salad leaves in the bottom of the plastic bowl it was packaged in, watching them slide around in the dressing at the bottom of the bowl. she had been getting salads lately instead of the usual pizza or whatever gross type of meat the cafeteria was serving. 

 

 

she looked across the table at her girlfriend, looking stunning as always, red hair tucked behind her ear as she lifted a forkful of her own salad past plump red lips. god, the girl was absolutely flawless. 

 

 

toni had paced herself eating her own container of grass, not wanting to make the same mistake as yesterday. as hungry as she was she didn’t want to eat the little amount of food she had quickly, and have cheryl realize she hadn’t eaten a lot. so she sat playing with her food every now and then between forkfuls. 

 

 

but of course, cheryl being the wickedly smart woman she was, realized something was bothering toni, seeing how she had an upset look on her face and was absentmindedly stirring around her lunch. 

 

 

“what’s up babe?” cheryl inquired, putting her phone down 

 

 

“huh?” toni said, snapping out of her haze 

 

 

“are you okay?” 

 

 

“fine, why?” 

 

 

“i don’t know, you just seem a little out of it” cheryl said worriedly 

 

 

“i’m a little tired, probably just didn’t sleep well enough last night” she fibbed 

 

 

cheryl sighed before going back to her lunch. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

a week later and toni was still on with her one meal a day plan, if you could even call it that. at this point she would only eat lunch with cheryl, which usually consisted of a small salad she would eat a few bites of then play around with to make it seem like she was eating a lot. 

 

 

 

the small girl was currently lying in her and cheryl’s bed, back against the soft mattress with high thread count sheets draped over her and strewn out around her. 

 

 

her stunning girlfriend was curled up and sleeping soundly next to her. toni glanced to her side; staring in awe at how beautiful her girlfriend is, eyes trailing down from her flowing redhead spilling onto the bed pillows, down to plump lips, parted slightly as she took slow breathes in her sleep. 

 

 

a small smile on her face, toni then glanced down at her own body. even through the dark she could see and feel the imperfections, all the flaws she knew cheryl could see too. 

 

the smile that once spread across her face faded and she once again questioned why cheryl loved her. she felt the familiar feeling of tears fill her eyes and a certain lump in her throat. 

 

it was times like this when it really got to her. late at night when she was the only one awake and had nothing else to do but let her insecurities and anxieties consume her. soon enough she felt hot tears streaming down her face, she turned her head and buried her face into her pillow right as a sob bursted from her throat.

 

 

grabbing for her flannel at the end of  
their bed, she did what she had done multiple times before; she balled up a bit of the shirt and stuffed into her mouth to muffle her sobs so she didn’t wake the sleeping beauty next to her. 

 

 

she rolled so her back was to cheryl and held the shirt tightly into her mouth, her sobs coming out fast as they were quickly muffled by the flannel shoved in her mouth. she felt hot tears running down her face as she took deep breathes in through the flannel.

 

her small frame shaking violently as rough sobs ripped through her, the tiny girl curled into herself hoping that would help her stop shaking as much, praying her movements didn’t cause cheryl to stir. 

 

 

her sobs slowly calmed down and she soon removed the flannel from her mouth and wiped her eyes, still feeling a little numb she closed her reddened eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

 

 

-

 

 

the next day does things differently 

 

 

the previous night when she was roughly trying to muffle her cries, she decided a different way to not eat, by eating.

 

 

she sat down at lunch with cheryl and their friends like she usually did, carrying a tray with a salad, bag of pretzels and water bottle topping it. she ate everything on her tray that period, laughing and smiling as she talked with everyone at their table. 

 

five minutes before the lunch period ended toni got up and got rid of her wrappers and tray. she quickly walked to the bathroom and locked a stall behind her. she shoved fingers down her throat and fell to her knees, feeling the hard tiles on her knees, gagging before giving up everything she just ate into the toilet bowl, stomach convulsing violently. 

 

after she was done she spit into the bowl, wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet. getting up and unlocking the stall, she walked out and caught a glance of herself in the mirror. she looked sickly, pale face, teary eyes and baggy clothes. with a low feeling in her heart she walked out of the bathroom to continue in with her day. 

 

 

toni continued with this method for three days before it started having noticeable effects on her. if you looked close enough you could notice how loose and baggy her clothes were looking on her, the paleness in her face, the bags under her eyes, how she was visibly smaller or even how tired she seemed. constantly falling asleep in classes or dozing off in cheryl’s lap in the student lounge. 

 

 

yet, no one seemed to notice all these changes in toni, even cheryl was completely oblivious to what her girlfriend was doing to herself. 

 

 

a week goes by and toni is still going with her method. she hasn’t eaten a thing without throwing it up immediately after and she’s finally noticing changes. she knows she’s getting skinny and she thinks she’s losing weight yet, she doesn’t want to stop. of course, she knows she should stop, she knows she’s lost an unhealthy amount of weight. the pink-haired girl doesn’t like the feeling she constantly has of fatigue, or the sickly feeling, yet she continues, all for cheryl. 

 

 

that nights she’s at thistlehouse with cheryl, sitting on the couch watching a movie while cheryl moves around in the kitchen. 

 

“would you like some dinner TT?” cheryl calls out to her from their spacious kitchen. 

 

 

toni doesn’t even panic at this point, completely used to refusing meals. “i’m okay, i had a big lunch today” she replies. 

 

 

she hears cheryl sigh from the kitchen “are you sure babe? we have lots of extra pasta and it doesn’t seem like you’ve been eating a whole lot lately...” toni feels her face heat up as she panics a little and quickly rushes to get an excuse out. 

 

“i have, i’m alright cher i promise” she fibs quickly 

 

 

“whatever you say babe...” cheryl sighs, walking over to where toni is sitting and sitting down with her bowl of pasta places on her lap. 

 

 

at the time, toni really thought this was the answer to her problems, but now she still doesn’t want to show cheryl her body because she knows she’s gotten skinny. she’s worried about how her girlfriend will react to her sudden weight loss, maybe she could just pass it off as a diet? toni wasn’t sure but she knew she couldn’t keep refusing meals and not being as cuddly as she usually is because she didn’t want cheryl feeling how bony she was now. 

 

her thoughts were interrupted as cheryl spoke suddenly, “i’m tired TT, can we go upstairs?” cheryl sighed, placing her empty bowl on the coffee table. 

 

 

“yeah, of course” toni replied, lifting the blanket off of them and stretching. 

 

as they started up the stairs, heading to their room the small brunette started feeling a bit dizzy, but ignoring the feeling she kept walking 

 

halfway up the stairs cheryl spoke “i have something to show you when we get up there babe” she said excitedly. toni responded with a simple ok before continuing up the stairs 

 

toni noticed she was started to feel extremely lightheaded and dizzy, suddenly feeling hot and winded. she was confused as to why her body was reacting this way, just from walking up the stairs and the feeling continued until she was finally able to sit down on their bed, trying hard to catch her breath. 

 

 

her girlfriend came in behind her and walked into their closet, shuffling around before coming back out, with something in her hands. 

 

“i bought this for you for our spring break trip, can you try it on for me babe?” cheryl said casually.

 

toni suddenly had a silent panic when she realized cheryl was going to see how skinny she was when she tried on this shirt. she couldn’t just go into the bathroom because that would see so suspicious, so her only option was to pray cheryl either didn’t notice, is impressed or just doesn’t say anything. 

 

 

slowly dragging off her slightly sweaty hoodie, she pulled it over her head right as she heard cheryl gasp. 

 

wincing slightly, she pulled her sweatshirt off, to find cheryl standing there looking shocked. 

 

“t-toni, what happened?” the vixen spoke cautiously, eyes scanning over toni’s frail body. watching in horror at the way her girlfriend’s hip bones jutted out and the way her ribs were ever so prominent, unhealthily prominent. the way her wrists and forearms looked fragile, as if a wrong move could easily snap them. her already small frame had gotten even tinier. she looked... starving, almost. 

 

 

toni tried to get it together and act like she had no clue. “what do you mean?” she responded “babe, you’re...you’re very skinny” cheryl said shakily 

 

“thanks? i guess.” 

 

“no! toni this is unhealthy, what the hell happened!?” cheryl said worriedly as toni scrambled to get her hoodie back over her head. 

 

“nothing happened cheryl, why?” she said pulling her sweatshirt down 

 

“toni something had to have happened! no one become this small in such a short amount of time! toni what did you do?!” the redhead said, exasperated

 

toni’s head was spinning at this point, she had no idea what to do. she could either come clean and tell cheryl what she had been doing or she could keep pretending to be clueless, which wasn’t really working. 

 

deciding telling cheryl was the best option, she finally began to speak. “i haven’t been eating a lot lately...” she said carefully 

 

“why, toni?” cheryl said, concerned 

 

toni took a deep breath before continuing, “cheryl, you’re so perfect and i love you but, i feel like i’m not enough for you. you’re gorgeous cher, you could have any girl in riverdale you wanted! i’m scared you’ll leave me for someone better-“ 

 

“toni! that’s not true, i love you and-“ cheryl began 

 

“let me finish babe” toni said as cheryl nodded “i started eating less so i could...i don’t know, be good enough for you? and i thought it would work but now this has happened and i’m scared you still won’t want me!” toni said, tears starting to fall

 

“come here babe” cheryl said softly, holding her arms out to toni. 

 

toni slowly walked over to their bed, where cheryl was sitting and climbed into cheryl’s lap. the redhead immediately scooted back so they were against the headboard and wrapped her arms around toni; fighting the urge to cry when she felt how bony her girlfriend was and how light she felt in her lap. 

 

the pink-haired girl tucked her head into cheryl’s neck and started taking deep breaths to calm herself down before she continued with what she was saying. she felt like the dizziness and nausea was getting worse and worse, she tried to steady her head from spinning as hard as it was by closing her eyes but the room continued to spin. 

 

toni groaned before continuing with what she was saying “i didn’t mean for it to get this bad cher” she said slowly, waiting for cheryl to respond. “i’m not going to say it’s okay babe, because this isn’t healthy toni, this is bad” 

 

toni sighed, “i know babe, i’m sorry.” 

 

“don’t be sorry babe. when did this start?” cheryl asked. “a little more than two weeks ago.” toni said, a little scared cheryl would be mad at her. 

 

“what did you mean by ‘not eating a lot’ toni? how were you doing this to yourself? i feel like i would have noticed!” the vixen said. 

 

 

toni winced “i- i started off only eating around you, that’s why you didn’t notice because i only ate around you. and it was usually something small, like just a salad. plus, i didn’t really eat it, i would just have a few bites then pick at it so it looked like i did eat. but, that was only the first week” 

 

 

cheryl took a deep breath in, brushing a pink lock behind toni’s ear, looking at her with sad eyes. “what happened the second week?” 

 

 

the other girl nervously continued “i didn’t think anything was happening so i continued with only eating around you, but then after i was done i would... i would go to the bathroom immediately after throw it back up.” toni said, ashamed with tears running down her face.

 

 

cheryl audibly gasped, wiping toni’s tears away softly. “toni, baby... why would you do that to yourself?” 

 

“i told you cher, you’re s-so perfect! I’m southside trash! i have issues and trauma that i burden you with every single day! hell, cheryl, you gave me a f-fucking home, because i...i didn’t have one myself! i’m not good enough for you and w-we both know it!” toni said, choking through hard sobs. 

 

“babe, listen to me, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, okay? you are perfect to me, i don’t want you any other way. i love you, toni” cheryl said, surprised toni felt this way and never told her about it. the redhead tucked her into her chest and ran to her fingers through toni’s hair, kissing the top of her head every now and then, trying to slow her heavy cries. 

 

 

toni continued to sob, the spinning feeling only intensifying with the added tears, making her feel as if she was drowning while being spun around over and over again. she just wanted to finish telling cheryl and take a nap. god, she was so exhausted.

 

“i d-did that for a little m-more than uhh... a week.. kind of. i h-haven’t eaten in a really long time, cher. every time i ate at lunch, w-which would be my only meal of the day... i would go to the b-bathroom and make myself give it back up.” toni sobbed, stumbling over her words a bit. god, she just wanted to sleep, she could feel herself slowing dozing against cheryl’s shoulder, slowly snuggling in closer to her girlfriend.

 

“i’m so tired cher” toni whined, falling against her girlfriend once more. 

 

“i’m sorry baby, but do you think i could see your ribs one more time?” cheryl asked. she didn’t want to stress her already broken girlfriend but, cheryl didn’t have a lot of experience with these things and to be honest she was terrified. this didn’t make any sense to her. toni had never talked to her about feeling this way about herself and then all of a sudden her beautiful girlfriend, who loves food and can even be described as a ‘foodie’ just stops eating for two weeks straight. cheryl was scared, and honestly, you can’t blame her, the redhead was coming home thinking she was going to have a relaxing evening with her girlfriend come to find out her girlfriend had been starving herself for the past two weeks and didn’t tell her. yeah, cheryl was scared as hell; questioning if she should call Dr. Caligari. 

 

 

toni groaned in agreement before stripping off her hoodie once more. lying flat on their bed, trying to deal with the whole room spinning around her and vision blurring as cheryl’s cold fingers danced around her torso. 

 

meanwhile cheryl gazed down at toni’s small body, tears welling in her eyes as she ran her fingers across her exposed ribs and over her frail arms. looking down at toni, noticing how she had her head back, her eyes were closed with her eyebrows scrunched together. getting closer and closer to calling Dr. Caligari. 

 

 

“toni? are you alright?” she asked with caution, not wanting to surprise the girl

 

 

“y-yeah but i’m really dizzy cher” 

 

cheryl looked at toni in concern. “babe i think i’m gonna call Dr. Caligari” the vixen said carefully. “no... no cher, it’s fine” 

 

 

“toni, i think it would be smart if we did, just to be safe.” she looked down at toni with fear in her eyes, worried the girl next to her wasn’t understanding the severity of the situation. not wanting to stress toni, she helped toni with getting her sweatshirt back on before kissing her forehead softly and walking downstairs to call Dr. Caligari. 

 

 

toni watched as cheryl’s blurry figure exited the room, letting her head flop back onto the pillow under her. she felt like utter shit. her head was pounding, her eyesight blurring, all on top of the feeling of the room spinning fast. the pink-haired girl didn’t want to worry her girlfriend and tell her how bad she actually felt but it was no use, cheryl had called the doctor anyways. god, she felt horrible it was like someone had thrown her on a carnival ride and just let it spin for the past hour, slowly feeling worse and worse as her vision started to go dark and her head lolled back and her eyes closed. 

 

 

cheryl walked back into their large bedroom a few minutes later “tt i called Dr. Caligari he should-“ she cut herself off with a gasp when she saw toni’s still body and closed eyes resting, trying not to let her mind drift to the worst possible situation, she made her way over to the bed to nudge toni a bit, hoping she would wake up. nothing. panic rising fast, she checked her pulse and was relieved toni was in fact, still alive just unconscious. 

 

 

even more relieved she called a doctor, cheryl was still panicking a bit over the fact her girlfriend was passed out on their bed. she carefully moved so she was sat next to toni’s body on the bed, stroking a tan cheek and playing her her hair. god, she hated seeing her girl like this, so small and fragile. looking as if the lightest touch could break her. the redhead started to get more and more nervous with ever minute that went by with toni passed out and a doctor not there. 

 

 

-

 

 

twenty minutes later and Dr. Caligari was standing in cheryl and toni’s bedroom, sitting by toni’s side in a chair next to their bed. 

 

 

“is there anything you think could have caused toni to pass out like this?” Dr. Caligari inquired. 

 

 

cheryl contemplated telling the doctor “i- she was telling me about how she hadn’t been eating a lot lately, maybe it could be... hunger” she went for a vague guess. 

 

 

“you did the right thing by calling me cheryl-“ Dr. Caligari sighed, “but, it’s possible it could be hunger... do you know any other information on-“ as the doctor was about to finish her sentence toni stirred, slowly coming to. 

 

 

toni groaned as she opened her eyes slowly, taking in the people around her. “she’s waking up” Dr. Caligari said softly 

 

“w-wha-?” toni moaned out in confusion 

 

“hi baby...” cheryl said softly, pushing a pink lock behind her ear. “you passed out” 

 

toni looked at her in confusion before getting words out “h-how long was i out for?” she said dryly. 

 

Dr. Caligari cut in before cheryl could speak “around an hour.” toni sighed, “oh.” 

 

“now that you’re awake TT, i don’t mean to stress you, but do you mind telling Dr. Caligari about our situation here?” cheryl asked, hoping not to freak toni out right as she woke up. 

 

toni sat up against the headboard of the bed, with cheryl’s assistance before speaking. “y-yeah, yeah, i can...” she sighed. “i haven’t been eating for a while, around two weeks now.” 

 

“is there a reason behind this, toni?” Dr. Caligari speaks softly. 

 

toni takes a deep breath in. “yes, there is. i was feeling insecure about myself and had been for a while, and when i started to progressively eat less, i didn’t really think anything was happening to my body and i wasn’t happy about it, so that’s when i stopped eating all-together.” toni said shakily. 

 

Dr. Caligari shifted in her chair before asking toni the next question. “what do you mean when you say you stopped eating, toni?” 

 

“i would only eat around cheryl, except i wouldn’t really eat i would just pick at my food until it looked like i had eaten. and then i got frustrated with that because i still didn’t like the way my body look, so i continued only eating around cheryl, the only difference is, when i was done, i would go to the bathroom and throw it back up.” toni says the last part quietly, like she was ashamed. 

 

 

“how long did you do that for, toni?” the doctor asked with a serious expression.

 

toni shifted in bed “i only ate around cheryl for a week and threw up food for a little more than a week” she sighed. 

 

“could you take off your shirt for me, toni? i need to examine further before i decipher how severe this is.” the doctor said seriously

 

 

toni slowly stripped off her shirt and laid back, watching as the doctor poked and prodded around her scarily prominent ribs and lifted toni’s arm a bit, the doctors hand basically being to wrap her hand completely around the area a little above toni’s elbow and where her bicep began, being able to touch the fingers on the other side. 

 

 

“alright toni, this could be severe so i have to ask, do you know how much you weighed and how tall you were before this started?” 

 

 

“ye-“ toni began but was cut off by cheryl “i have it in my phone.” toni looked at her quizzically “what? i have all your stats incase something happens to you” toni chuckles “what does it say cher?” cheryl opens her phone before reading it out “ummm... it says you were 112lbs before this and 5’1.” cheryl smirked internally at toni’s shortness, quite the difference from her own height of 5’7. 

 

Dr. Caligari sighs “do you have a scale cheryl?” the vixen looks at her, “yes i do it’s in the bathroom” 

 

“alright c’mon” 

 

cheryl pulled toni up to more of a sitting position by her forearms, then assisted her with getting out of bed. she helped toni to their bathroom, following close behind the doctor.

 

shakily, they got to the bathroom and cheryl pulled out the scale and placed it on the floor in front of her girlfriend. toni stepped on the scale on the floor.

 

 

the scale whirled through numbers for a few seconds before a bright “87” appeared on small screen. 

 

 

toni heard cheryl gasp from behind her as she stared down at the number on the scale. tears pooling in her eyes, she never thought it was going to be this bad. 

 

 

the doctor spoke up “alright, toni you’re underweight by about fifteen pounds.” 

 

 

tears shined in the small girl’s eyes. she was embarrassed and ashamed, not being able to find words to respond, too many other thought and emotions buzzing through her head. 

 

cheryl stood next to her girlfriend, her expression blank and her eyes also teary. too scared to say anything. toni was the light of her life and she had been too close too many times to losing her. she didn’t think she could handle having another close call like this. 

 

 

Dr. Caligari spoke up, figuring neither of the girls had anything to say “the best way to get back to a healthy weight, toni, would to be to start eating again as soon as possible. make sure to start with small portion sizes and slowly work your way up every day. it’s not going to be easy, you may feel dizzy or nauseous, but it’s just your body adjusting after being used to having extremely low amounts of food everyday. be careful toni” 

 

 

toni looked up at the doctor, “thank you, Dr. Caligari. i’ll be sure to start small” 

 

 

“alright, well you girls be careful and i think our appointment is over.” the doctor said, packing up and getting ready to leave. 

 

 

cheryl slowly got up to walk her out as the doctor call out to toni before leaving “take care of yourself toni, i hope you get well soon” 

 

 

as they exit the room toni absentmindedly wobbles back to bed, she tries to pull herself onto the big bed but finds herself to weak to do so, falling to the floor as she finally letting the tears flow, rough, gaspy sobs erupting from her as she buried her face into her arms, hoping no one heard her cries. she was so ashamed. ashamed she did this to herself. ashamed cheryl found out. ashamed of her weight. most of all ashamed that now her doctor knows about all of this. god, she just wanted to be good enough for cheryl. that was her whole point of doing this and now she’s worried cheryl won’t like her. maybe because she’s too skinny, maybe she won’t like that toni has problems, maybe she won’t like that toni did this to herself and try to leave her. toni begin to cry harder at the thought of cheryl leaving her, trying desperately to get air into her lungs, gasping her breath as she exhales into spluttering tears. her stomach cramping from how hard she was crying. 

 

 

she only cried harder and harder as her mind played the whole situation on replay. the vivid numbers, 87, staring back up at her from the scale. she gagged a bit as her body couldn’t cry any harder. she buried her head farther into her arms, looking down at her body and immediately sobbing harder and harder. she couldn’t look at herself anymore... getting up on shaking legs, she felt tears drip down past her neck, staggering into their closet and pulling out one of cheryl’s sweatshirts she slipped it over her head and just curled up on the floor in their closet, too tired to get to their bed, curling into herself and just crying and crying.

 

 

cheryl walked into their bedroom about a minute later, she was immediately met with harsh sobs. looking around the room frantically she tried to find her girlfriend. glancing around at their bed, the bathroom, under their bed, their desk, she couldn’t find toni. she heard more sobs break out into the silence and she let her ears guide her over to their closet where she found her tiny girlfriend curled up on the floor, practically drowning in the material of the sweatshirt she was wearing. she looked at her small girlfriend, looking so vulnerable, she slowly knelt down in front of toni as the pink haired girl’s sobs picked up again. 

 

 

“shh, shh baby it’s me, it’s okay” cheryl cooed, placing her hand on the side of toni’s face and stroking her cheek with her thumb. 

 

“ch-cher...” toni cried out, leaning into her touch 

 

 

cheryl moved toni so she had her sitting up and tucked into her chest, toni continued to cry. 

 

 

cheryl whispered softly at toni “what? what it is baby? why are you all the way over here?” 

 

toni babbled incoherently due to the rough sobs leaving her throat, reaching out for cheryl, just wanting touch. 

 

 

the vixen understood what toni needed and moved her into her lap before standing them both up so was gripping the undersides of toni thighs, toni’s arms were wrapped desperately around cheryl’s neck, easily carrying her around their room and cooing softly into toni’s ears trying her best to slow the tiny girl’s sobs. a wave of sadness hit the redhead when she picked up her girl, really noticing just how _tiny_ her girlfriend had gotten, as if she weighed practically nothing as cheryl lifted her. 

 

 

cheryl moved her arms so they were gripping toni tightly around her waist, trying her best to comfort her girl and quiet her sobs, but to no use as the tiny girl clung to her and continued to wail into her neck. 

 

 

although toni always tried to act tough, and act like everything was fine cheryl could right through toni the same way toni could see through her and she knew during times like these toni just turned into a big baby. so, cheryl stood there in the middle of their room rubbing an arm up and down toni’s back while carrying her, letting her cry it out while trying her best to comfort her. 

 

eventually toni’s sobs were reduced so sniffles and small cries, still clinging onto cheryl’s shoulder, eventually calming down as cheryl rocked her slowly. after a few minutes toni’s cries came to a stop and she flopped her head onto cheryl’s shoulder, closing her eyes and exhaling. 

 

 

they stayed like that for a few minutes, toni had finally calmed down and was enjoying cheryl’s slow movements. cheryl eventually spoke up, figuring toni was calm enough. 

 

“TT” 

 

toni huffed and whined in response 

 

 

“TT, talk to me baby.” cheryl said softly

 

“i’m sorry” the pink haired girl croaked into her shoulder 

 

cheryl sighed. “don’t be, what happened baby?” 

 

“i didn’t think it would be this bad” toni said sadly 

 

 

“you have to talk to me about these things toni, tell me when you’re feeling this way. i’m your girlfriend, i’m here to help you.” 

 

“i wanted to cher! but i felt that if i came to you with more problems it just made me more of a burden!” 

 

cheryl sighed “TT, listen to me baby, nothing you could ever do would make you a burden to me, okay? i love you so much, and i _want_ you to be able to talk to me, that’s what i’m here for.” cheryl reassured her. 

 

toni sighed and buried her head back into cheryl’s neck “i don’t deserve you” 

 

“look at me TT” toni lifted her head and leaned back so she was looking cheryl in the eyes “you deserve the world, okay?” the redhead said sweetly. “okay” toni said, leaning in as cheryl kissed her sweetly. 

 

“now c’mon, lets get you better.” 

 

 

-

 

 

it had been around a week and toni was slowly recovering. she started slow, eating small meals and getting her body used to eating more calories everyday. 

 

she was so grateful for her girlfriend. cheryl has been right by her side every step of the way. encouraging toni to eat more, reminding her of meals, cooking for her, holding her and letting toni cry into her chest when it was difficult, being proud of her when she was able to finish her first full meal, and supporting her through it all. 

 

toni truly couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend, she swears cheryl is an angel sent from heaven. and just like all thing that get in the way, they got through it together, and that, toni will forever be grateful for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
>  
> 
> i take requests & please leave feedback!


	10. never again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> toni goes to cheryl after being hurt by her uncle
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> toni doesn’t live at thistlehouse yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this prompt is pretty basic, i’ve seen it been done plenty of other times but i wanted to just get something out quickly cause i felt bad for not updating for a while
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>  
> 
> i’ll be writing more so hopefully i’ll have more chapters out soon
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> tw for physical abuse!!
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> leave feedback please!!

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toni groaned as she trudged along the road to cheryl’s house.

 

she was sick of this. sick of having to drag herself to cheryl’s house after her uncle did something like this.

 

god, she felt horrible. from the pain of her injuries and from the feeling of guilt she had about pushing all of her problems onto cheryl. cheryl didn’t deserve to have to deal with this. the pink haired girl felt terrible about forcing all of her issues onto cheryl, she hated how she was walking to cheryl’s house, even as she was thinking about how guilty it made her feel.

 

pain shot through her body, crudely reminding her of her injuries, as she stumbled a bit over a sidewalk tile that had been jumbled around. suddenly becoming aware of the pain that was coursing through her body and the warm trail of blood that was making its way down her face. tears pooling in her eyes and her heart feeling heavy, she kept walking.

 

but where else did she have to go? nowhere. she knew a few kids her age from the southside, but they all lived in trailers just like her and they certainly didn’t have room for another person, even if toni were to even dare asking them to stay there. sure, there were kids she met at riverdale high like, betty, veronica, josie, archie and some other vixens but she didn’t know them well enough to show up at their door step and say “hey, my uncle just beat me and kicked me out of my home, can i stay here?”

 

yeah, she knew cheryl pretty well, even though they had just started dating a few weeks ago, they talked everyday and toni was sure she was falling in love with the girl. but, that still didn’t make toni comfortable enough to show up at her door in the middle of the night. she felt so bad doing so but at this point she didn’t have another choice. the small girl was tired and just wanted to sleep, she didn’t want to walk around all night like she had done in the past.

 

 

before toni knew it she was standing in the front lawn of thislehouse. staring up at the large stone building, glancing at the couple of windows with yellow light shinning through them and illuminating some parts of the green carpet of grass covering the lawn. a shiver shaking through her body as a cold breeze blew through, making toni realize she was only wearing a ripped pair of black jeans and a bloody t-shirt. the small serpent was so close to tears she was sure if she didn’t get to cheryl soon she was going to break down sobbing right there in her front yard.

 

god, she was so frustrated with herself for being so upset over this. she’s dealt with this before, but this time she’s just so done

 

miraculously, toni hauled herself up the side of the house. her whole body throbbing in pain. as she was scaling the side of cheryl’s house, having to stuff some of the front of her t-shirt in her mouth to keep herself from screaming out in pain multiple times.

 

 

peering into the large window, she looked lovingly at cheryl, sitting on her bed, reading a book, of course. hesitantly, toni tapped a bruised knuckle against the glass of the window.

 

the redhead jumped at the noise, bookmarking her book and placing it on her night stand. making her way towards the window and opening it for her girlfriend.

 

“toni?” cheryl gasped as she helped her girlfriend through the window.

 

only a moment passed before the small girl was collapsing in cheryl’s arms in tears. raspy sobs wracking her tiny, bruised body as cheryl held her.

 

cheryl’s mind was spinning. they’d been dating for a few weeks but cheryl had never seen toni vulnerable like this. up until this point their relationship had just consisted of toni helping cheryl through nightmares and trauma, and suddenly an uneasy feeling was hitting her when it crossed her mind that she had never really thought about how toni feels or how maybe toni had trauma too. thoughts swimming around in her mind for what could have possibly made her girlfriend break down like this. she continued holding toni, one hand stroking up and down her back, figuring toni just needed to cry it out before talking to her.

 

 

after a few more minutes of toni sobbing into cheryl, toni pulled away sniffling, finally looking up at her with eyes red from crying. cheryl had to hold in a gasp as she saw all scratches and bruises littering her girlfriend’s face. the redhead was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say in the situation.

 

 

“ch-cher-” toni breathed out shakily, tears in her eyes

 

cheryl looked at the smaller girl sadly, “who did this to you, TT?” more tears pooled in toni’s eyes as she spoke “m-my uncle” the redhead audibly gasped, feeling heartbroken for the girl in front of her. “i’m so sorry toni”

 

toni sat up a bit, wiped her eyes and took a deep breathe, still feeling horrible, she tried to collect herself. “can we take a bath cher? i feel so gross.” she sniffled.

 

cheryl looked at the girl sadly, “of course baby.” the pink haired girl made her way off cheryl’s lap as the redhead stood up, reaching her arms down to toni to help her off the floor, the smaller girl whimpering in pain as she got up off the floor. walking across cheryl’s room and arriving to the bathroom, cheryl closed the door behind them and moved to turn on the bath, getting the right temperature, warm enough to feel good, just cool enough to be comfortable in, then pouring in lavender epsom salts. suddenly hearing small, pained noises behind her. the redhead turned to see toni struggling to get her shirt over her head, body aching too much to do so. getting up and walking over to the girl, cheryl guided her girlfriend’s arms out of the shirt before gently pulling it over her head. cheryl held back tears as she saw the severity of the bruises scattered around the small girl’s torso. deep purple and blues lining her body from her ribs down to her stomach and hip bones. “thanks cher” toni whispered, feeling pathetic.

 

 

after helping toni out of her clothes, the vixen helped her into the bath. toni lied down, exhaling calmly as her body relaxed and the warm water soothed her muscles and bruises. cheryl watched sadly as some of the blood from the cuts on the girl’s tiny body swirled around in the water before disappearing. the redhead sat beside the bath when wet reached out and placed itself over her own, the taller girl looking over at toni. “c-can you come in with me cher?” the serpent spoke softly, a tremble in her voice. “of course baby”

 

cheryl stripped herself of her own clothes, threw her hair into a bun and climbed in to join toni in the bathtub, relaxing as she laid down in the water next to her girlfriend, moving a few minutes later to tuck toni into her side. both girls relaxing enjoying each other’s embrace and the warm bath water flowing around them in a comfortable silence . a few minutes pass and cheryl looks over to check on the small girl cuddled into her side. glancing over to see tears streaming down tan cheeks. silently cursing herself for not knowing, cheryl turned to the girl a finger curling under the girls chin so she would look up at the redhead. seeing toni’s tear filled eyes, cheryl to her face in her hands and wiped the girl’s tears away with her thumbs. “what happened TT?”

 

toni took a shaky breath in before starting “i was trying to leave the house, or… trailer, i guess.” toni took a deep breath, remembering how she was just trying to run out to the store, wanting to grab a few things to surprise her girlfriend with, having a whole idea in her head of showing up cheryl’s door, flowers and other things in hand, and having a romantic night with the love of her life. “he said there was stuff in the kitchen i needed to clean up, and i didn’t want to deal with him so i just went to go clean it. there were some dishes in the sink and empty wrappers on the table, but none of them were mine, and he’s the only other person that lives there so i pointed it out to him.”

 

cheryl looked at the girl quizzically, “what he’d do then?” toni sighed “then he got mad. he started yelling at me about how it was mine and i needed to clean it up, but he just had this look and i just knew he was lying.” tears rolled down the pink haired girl’s face as she remembered how excited she was to do this for her girlfriend, she had scraped together the little money she had left from that week’s paycheck and had been planning for a few days. “i tried to argue it and i know i shouldn’t have but i just so fed up, cher. he eventually got mad and hit me, he’s done it before so i knew he wasn’t going to stop at one punch. it just got worse as he started beating me; he got angrier and the blows got harder” toni cried “he does shit like that all the time, cher. trying to convince me i did something, or left something somewhere, or made a mess of something, when it was really him and i don’t know why he does it! i hate it cher!” toni said, beginning to sob.

 

“he just plans it out and then blames it on me just so he can beat me! it’s like he finds fun in beating the shit out of me every fucking day!” the pink haired girl gasped out, breaking down into cheryl’s neck. “I’m sorry cher.”

 

 

cheryl gently washed some blood away from a deep scratch on toni’s neck, the kissing her forehead. “don’t apologize babygirl, none this is your fault.” toni grumbled something that cheryl couldn’t make out “hm?” “he said it was” toni whispered sadly, not meeting cheryl’s eyes. “listen to me TT, he’s wrong, okay? you did nothing wrong, you’re alright.”

 

 

the small girl continued to cry into the redhead’s shoulder, “i love you” she sobbed out roughly. ‘i love you too baby” the taller girl whispered, carefully moving the tiny body next to her so toni was resting on top of her, head on her chest.

 

 

the two sat in a comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the comfort and serenity it brought. cheryl’s hand was rubbing up and down a tan back, her other resting in pink locks, pressing kisses to the top of the small girl’s head every now and then. she was 90% sure toni was asleep or at least dozing. deciding it probably time for them to get out before the water got cold and toni actually fell into a deep sleep.

 

 

“TT, c’mon baby” the redhead whispered sweetly, getting a sleepy groan in response. “c’mon bub let’s wash up and get out” toni sat up slowly, groaning as her body ached with the movements. cheryl poured some shampoo into her hand and ordered toni to turn around in the water. softly massaging the shampoo through pink hair the redhead pressed small kisses to the back of toni’s shoulder, frowning at the bruises spotting her girl’s tiny body. washing out the shampoo, then running conditioner through the tiny girl’s hair. hands running down to her shoulders, rubbing softly. toni groaned gratefully, muscles relaxing as her girlfriend massaged her shoulders and neck. “you alright baby?” “feels good” toni whispered.

 

a few minutes later and the two girls were wrapped in warm towels, cheryl walking to her large closet to dress herself and bringing toni back her coziest pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt. after they were dressed the redhead promptly picked up her tiny girlfriend, something she had just learned a few days ago she could do, and it was very amusing to her how she could carry her badass gang member girlfriend around as if she were a toddler. usually the smaller girl would get all embarrassed that cheryl could do this, when she did and insist the redhead put her down. but, today was different toni tucked her head into her girlfriend’s neck and closed her eyes.

 

cheryl gently laid toni down on the luscious bed, climbing in next to her and pulling the covers over them. tucking the smaller girl into her side and kissing her. the redhead watched as toni dozed off to sleep, heart aching for the tiny girl, and a strong urge to hurt toni’s horrid uncle. every bone in her body wanting to protect her girlfriend. the vixen fell into a light sleep, ready to wake up and comfort toni when the nightmares came, and they did. never wanting her girl to be hurt again, making a silent promise to herself that she would never let anything or anyone hurt toni, ever again.

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading
> 
>  
> 
> i take requests so leave some if you have any!!!
> 
>  
> 
> also my twitter is @dyketopaz


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